Friday, December 26, 2008

Merry Christmas!


Got an email from Uncle Jun with their family picture for the holidays.
We miss you here! All of you...

Poker face mode

... or may I say-- on a Zombie mode.

Got up from bed, took a bath, prepared to go for work...
Left the house, rode a jeep to Edsa, rode a bus to Ayala...
Bumaba sa bus stop ng paseo/rufino...
Walked to buy chai tea latte at coffee bean but it's closed...
Umakyat sa 24Th floor, dumaan ng wash room...
And hola, nasa office na ako!

All along, I have the poker face / zombie mode look. I don't know, it is very unusual. Especially this season. Oh di ba, paskong-pasko!

My devo before leaving--

"But if we walk in the light, as he is the light... the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." -1 John 1:7

And may I quote this last two lines from My Utmost for His Highest--

"The love of God, working in me causes me to hate, with the Holy Spirit's hatred for sin, anything that is not in keeping with God's holiness. To walk in the light means that everything that is of the darkness actually drives me closer to the center of the light."

Few thoughts (text messages actually) that is resounding in my head right now--

1. Dec 7 @ 02:53 pm
"We have no faith in God at all until its proved thru conflict. Dr r thngs in lyf dat come out against r faith in Gods goodness n justice.

Do u claim 2 hav faith in areas wer uv never had reason 2 doubt? Is dis true faith of juz absence of doubt? do u claim 2 b victorious in areas wer uv nevr tempted 2 sin? Is dis righteousness or arrogance?

D greatest demand God makes of us is to believe dat He is righteous wen evrytng dat happens goes against dat faith.
"

2. Dec 20 @ 02:20 pm
Thought to Ponder on:
"As you get older, every choice that you make defines who you're gonna turn into. And every once in a while, you need to look at yourself & ask if you like the person you're becoming."

3. Dec 26 @ 01:01 PM
"Sna inisip nyo testimony nyo. Kht wla kyong gngawa, people are still looking, people who do nt know the Lord..."

4. Dec 26 @ 03:46 pm
"You did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear. Rom 8:15,we may not know what the future holds,but we can trust the one who holds the future.:-) 2 :-)"

And reminded myself of---

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified..." - 1 Thess 4:3a

"He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes..." - John 15:2a

"...because the Lord disciplines those he loves," Hebrews 12:6a

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
" - Romans 7:21-25

And I say again despite the fact that I'm on this "mode"-- Thanks be to God!

He remains faithful, just and true! His love endures forever...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Calling all Call Center Pips!

CONNECT invites you to join...


A Christmas-Pajama-Party for everyone from the BPO industry. Whether you work in Ortigas, Makati, Mandaluyong, Libis, Cubao, or wherever you may be, you are very welcome to join in our fellowship! We can all go straight there after our shift, (hehe) 8am this coming Saturday, December 13, 2008 happening at GCF Ministry Center, Ruby corner Garnet Roads in Ortigas Center, Pasig City.

More pajamas, more fun, so be there! See you and God bless.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Ayun oh!



I was just asking John yesterday morning what he wants for Christmas, he said "Ikaw lang"... Ang cheesy eh!

Anyway, to my surprise when I checked my email last night I noticed I received one from Kevin Sanders with a subject line: you won :) . So I hurried and opened and whoa, ayun oh... I did won! WOW, WOW, WOW! I could not believe it!

When I first posted his banner here at my blog I was just joking (but really hoping) to win a copy of his book for my beloved. And now it is happening! Natuwa rin syempre si John. Hehehe!

Thanks again Kuya Kevin! I'm very happy and this is very humbling, so in return I'll be on promoting your book and join you in praying for your ministry for the furtherance of His Kingdom! You are a blessing to many. May God continue to bless you.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Big Bird

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is one of my favorite U.S. holiday. WALA kaming pasok!

Wohoo!

Pero may sad news pala... Last time, si spongebob, ngayon si big bird naman... Haaayy...

Wahahaha... Pasintabi sa mga fans ni big bird! Nyahaha!

Psalm 23

I got this from my boyfriend, he said he got this from a website (he did not say what site though) and so I thought of posting...

The Lord is my shepherd”: that’s relationship.
I shall not want”: that’s supply.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures”: that’s rest.
He leads me beside still waters”: that’s refreshment.
He restores my soul”: that’s healing.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness”: that’s guidance.
For his name’s sake”: that’s purpose.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”: that’s testing.
I will fear no evil”: that’s protection.
For you are with me”: that’s faithfulness.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me”: that’s discipline.
You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies”: that’s hope.
You anoint my head with oil”: that’s consecration.
My cup overflows”: that’s abundance.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life”: that’s blessing.
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord”: that’s security.
Forever”: that’s eternity.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Crying together

It happened last night, uhm... During my lunch pala 1am pala yun. Hehe!

Very sweet of you... Hindi ko ine-expect na ma-e-encourage mo rin ako...

"thnx, rajsh...just crying with you made me feel a little better..(kelangan may kadamay???hehheheh) this too shall pass.. love ko din kaw and miss ko na kyo..."

Kakatuwa!

"If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matt 6:30-34

Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

Wish

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms..." -Ephesians 6:12

I wish I could tell them I want to quit.
I wish I could tell them I want to leave.
I wish I could tell them I had enough.
I wish I could them I can no longer take it.


The battle goes on, and the joy of the Lord is my strength!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

She saw me crying

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

She saw me crying today. So she emailed me and asked if I'm okay.

Ayun at lalo akong napa-iyak. Hehehe!

But I was so touched at sobrang na-appreciate ko ang concern.
And so I THANK YOU and I HUG YOU back Aisha...

And most especially, thank You Lord for the everlasting love, comfort and peace!

Friday, October 24, 2008

HE met me where I am

Naniniwala ako na hindi mararamdaman ng isang believer ang intimacy ng relationship nya sa Panginoon kung hindi sya consistent sa devotional time, prayer time, worship and fellowship time (with the family of believers) nya.

I have been struggling in encouraging someone for the past two weeks na ata and somehow I also found myself a bit discouraged sa mga sinasabi nya to the point na ayoko na lang syang patulan at replyan impulsively (baka kasi kung ano pa masabi ko at mag-away lang kami). Pero the Lord has been so gracious and ever merciful and faithful. Hindi pa Nya sinasagot ang panalangin ko for that friend pero alam ko that He is working on it. And that He has been teaching me to wait and continue in trusting Him lang. Also been reminding me to be the source of encouragement for this dear friend, kasi she would also tell me that she feels alone and that He seems so distant, it was really heart breaking to hear that from her...

Early this morning, I was supposed to sleep agad after John said goodbye pero hindi ko talaga kayang matulog nang hindi nag-de-devo so I got up and opened my Bible. And 'was really surprise and happy to have met with Him on a very personal level. I wish it is easy to describe in words how I felt (and how I am feeling right now) about it but hope this would somehow suffice...

The Lord affirmed me through the words from Paul in 2 Corinthians 2:15, he said in there:

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

And then Oswald Chambers said:

"We are encompassed with the sweet aroma of Jesus, and wherever we go we are a wonderful refreshment to God."

I realized that the thought and feeling of being discouraged, is not from the Lord and it is not in anyway honoring Him... So why would I bother entertain it? The enemy is working double time talaga at kailangan lang gamitin ang Authority in rebuking him, for the battle has already been won at the Cross, "it is finished" the Lord said. Ano pa bang magagawa sa akin ng kaaway?

I realized na hindi ko naman role na pagaanin ang buhay or problema ng kaibigan ko, na hindi ko naman dapat agawan ng role ang Holy Spirit. And that what matters is that I am available for her; listening sa mga hinanakit at reklamo nya sa buhay, that I'm available to encourage her, comfort her and remind her of her stand in Christ.

I realized that in times like these... My character is being molded into something better. I know it keeps getting better and better according to His timing and will. And that it will go on until I become the person He wants me to be.

I realized that these are opportunities to display the "sweet aroma" of Christ in my life, and a wonderful opportunity to honor and glorify Him! The One and only...

He met me where I am, and I'm glad He did!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Lovelife can open ministry doors

I emailed Kuya Kevin today and shared to him some praise items about his book (Basta Love Life); how it has been ministering to non-Christians friends at work and how amazed I am (and so is John) to realize that lovelife (or may I say our love story) can minister to other people, particularly to those whom have yet to know HIM.

Just want to share his response, hindi ko pa na-co-construct ng maayos sa utak ko to be able to post in my blog the story behind it all eh. Hehe. Here is his response:

"Yes, lovelife can open ministry doors. When I first came here, I had no plan of getting involved with this aspect of ministry (purity). But as I kept working with students (and doing True Love Waits), I saw the great need for it. And I've noticed that this has given me "easy access" into students' hearts. When they see God has something to say about their love lives, then hopefully they'll look even deeper into what He has to say about their lives as a whole."

Ayun lang for now... All for the glory of the King of kings and Lord of lords!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Duh?

He walked with me tonight, it was quite a suprise and I'm so kilig... Hahaha! Wala lang... I think I'm in love... Nyahaha!

Duh?!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Patay na si Spongebob!

I can't get over this... Sorry na! Kung sino man nagpakalat ng email na 'to... Haaay... Grabe, hndi ko kinaya! Hahahaha! :D

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Five Love Languages


I had just finished reading the book. And like what I said in my text brigade few weeks ago-- I highly recommend this book! Galing-galing!

Allow me to quote what Dr. Gary Chapman, the author, said on the final chapter:

"Just identifying and speaking a person's love language strengthens a relationship, not doing this can leave a friend or a loved one feeling as if you do not love him or her. When people do not convey love in a way that is perceived as love, their efforts, though sincere, are somewhat wasted. This can be frustrating for both giver of love and the intended recipient. You may have unknowingly been guilty of speaking a "foreign" love language in the past to someone you loved. Understanding the concept of love languages can help you know how to effectively express your feelings so that they are received and interpreted as you mean them to be."

The book does not focus on romantic relationships alone but in all human relationships, as in ALL!

I learned that I speak of the Five Love Languages and amazed to have figured out I have two Primary Love Languages na nag-tie ang score sa Love Language Profile. And most importantly his insights are Biblical kahit medyo may cultural differences since American ang approach and market nya. Nevertheless, I recommend this book, a must read! Hehe.

Special thanks to Sam Zipp, the one who gave the book.

You can check out the website at www.fivelovelanguages.com

A lot of growing up to do

It really is flattering when people would tell you "You're matured to think that you're young..." but that doesn't mean that a person should stop there, stop maturing and growing.

It's funny and amazing how God would bring me into a situation to realize that, I am so grateful that He never fail to impress upon me that He is not through with me and that I have to go on lang with my sanctification journey.

Just when I thought I had it all right, here I am on a "new" journey. I wanted to freak out because it is just now that I came to REALLY realize that this ain't a joke, this is something serious and this means business-- walang lokohan na involve! At, shocks! Ang hirap pala talaga...

I do not want to make an argument over it or justify myself in front of God again, (since I have already done so last time, but I made a commitment not to do that again), basta ang prayer ko lang is He will continue to rule over me, bringing into my mind to just do what is right; to honor and glorify Him all the time.

I found myself stunned when the Lord answered my prayer. A prayer that goes like this: "Allow me to desire what You want for me and pluck out things that are not according to Your will".

Stunned kasi ang bigat pala nung prayer ko na yun! It was so heavy kasi (okay I'll share a story)... I have been praying for a major thing in my life for a couple of months and was waiting, uhm, mas tama ata na sabihing I was "expecting" that I'll get it September this year.

But then, lo and behold, to my surprise the Lord said NO and told me to wait until next year... I was like-- "What Lord? Aarggh! this can't be!"

And then He reminded me of my prayer that His desire and His will alone be done in my life. I felt like nabatukan ako, oo nga pala, yun nga pala ang prayer ko. At ayun na nga, ambigat-bigat pala nun, especially when I realized that what I want is not according to what He want. Kapal pa ng face ko to act like: I already told You about this Lord, why can't I have it? Pero mali, as in very wrong talaga.

Now I feel like a sunflower-- following the Sun (God) from east to west... At parang nasa heliotropic stage pa lang ata ako...

Just when I thought I am okay, I realized I have a lot of growing up to do. So, okay fine, I'm moving forward!

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus... And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." -Philippinas 1:6, 9-11

Friday, October 3, 2008

Astig 'to




(I'm hoping to win a copy for John... hehe!)

I had him (John) read it and we both agreed na WE SO LOVE THIS BOOK! Very Biblical and practical, at funny si Kuya Kevin... So get a copy guys! It's available in your local bookstore!

"BASTA LOVELIFE" by Kuya Kevin Sanders

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Happy...


We are so happy!
We are both overwhelmed and we are super-duper grateful kay God!
How He brought us together...
His faithfulness is indeed matchless... Very Humbling!

Ayun lang, just want to share my joy!

Monday, September 22, 2008

our LSS

"I love you
You love me
we're a happy family
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
won't you say you love me too..."


At talagang ginoogle ko pa ang lyrics. Hahaha! Kaso wala akong mahanap na picture ni Adam Sandler na purple sya (yung sa CLICK) hehehe. Wala lang!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Am I?

Uh, I couldn't think of the right word...

"Am I delirious?
Am I dreamy?
Am I enraptured?
Am I entranced?
Am I excited?
Am I happy?
Am I rhapsodic?"


Crap... I don't know! I am melting... Hahaha!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Posting: a very nice thought

(got it from kuya kevin's blog... he said he got it from here.)

The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.

-Matthew Henry

Monday, September 8, 2008

How sweet!

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" -Psalm 56:3-4

I am feeling somewhat "scared" of something but then the Lord reminded me of HIS promise... How sweet and faithful of HIM talaga!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Moments...

I dunno, I guess talagang umiiral na naman ang katigasan ng ulo ko. Pagpilitan ba ang hindi naman talaga pwede, klarong-klaro na HINDI PWEDE! Pero eto at umaarteng bata na naman. Haaayyy naku, hindi ko alam ang gagawain ko! Gusto ko na lang "umuwi" at tumakas... Alam na alam ng sarili ko na ito ang "greatest frustration" ko at... Aaarrgggh!!! Naiiyak na lang ako...

At iqu-quote ko na naman ang paborito kong verse na:

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay
."

Haaayyy... Haaayyy buhay...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

the desire of my heart...

Is to be where YOU are...

"I just want to be where You are
Dwelling daily in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar
Draw me near to where You are
I just want to be where You are
In Your dewlling place forever
Take me to the place where You are
I just want to be with You

I want to be where You are
Dwelling in Your presence
Feasting at Your table
Surrounded by your glory
In Your presence
That's where I always want to be
I just want to be
I just want to be with YOU..."

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Aaawww...

I would like to thank everyone na naka-alala...

Sa mga nag-text, nag-email, nagleave ng comment sa multiply, mga naka-salubong ko, sa mga nag-birthday-HUG, sa mga nag-leave ng off line msge sa YM, sa movie-dinner-coffee bean-date, at sa lahat-lahat... sa mga naka-alala pero hindi nakabati (kilala ko kayo!) thank you po!

as in SUPER THANK YOU! and as I have said, you are such a blessing to me, all of you! You are an affirmation that my Lord and my God is indeed ever faithful!

I wish to say more... pero wala na akong masabi... salamat, salamat talaga!

The last email greeting I just got now:





Katuwa... salamat dear! :D

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

IEX

For back up and documentation purposes lang.

Hindi naman po ako excited...

Uhm, super excited lang!!! Wahaha!!!

A screen capture of my bonggang VL... At long last! Thank You Lord!


To my fellow Research Analysts... I will see you Aug 26th! Hehe! Salamat kay Isczie for all the tips! Enjoy your routes... Wahaha! :D

And for my prayer partners... alam nyo na yung mga prayer items ko for this trip. Please continue in praying for them, for her, and all! I will keep you posted... Super thanks!

During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said: "Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king." -Daniel 2:19-23

Monday, August 11, 2008

Surprising and humiliating

I received another email from our quality assurance specialist and I got another failed audit. This is my third for this month. And for the record (not to boast or anything) I am not used to receiving such email and I am very particular with my stats...

Last week, for two consecutive days I actually got two. I was so pissed off then and was so mad at myself (the "cry baby" post is all about that bad news) but today is different...

Have you ever felt like "GUSTO KONG MA-BADTRIP PERO DI KO MAGAWA!?" I feel like ganun right now... I mean, for me it is something good... After really praying about it... Before I left for work kasi today I ask God to prepare me if ever I will receive another failed audit... Of which I did receive nga today but then I am praising Him right now because He answered my prayer! Hindi na ako yung Rajsh last week (mga officemate ko lang nakakita nun at hindi nakakatuwa...) na super, aaarrggh! I don't even want to remeber that! Hahaha!

Romans 8:28 is so true... And I will cling and hold to His faithfulness lang!

Allow me also to share some thoughts from the book I'm currently reading (Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot). Hindi lang pang-love life yung mga insights nya at super nakakatuwa...

She said (and I totally agree):

'When there is real weakness, especially of the kind that surprises and humiliates us, it is our opportunity to learn what Paul had to learn through his "thorn": the grace of God is all we need, for "...power comes to its full strength in weakness..."'

I was reading that chapter last night before I went to sleep and it comforted me... Natutuwa lang ako! I am so happy rin on how the Lord is calming the storm in me... Totoo yung status message / blog entry title ng isang friend na "Only my Maker can calm me down". Wala lang... kakatuwa!

And it is my prayer that when the day comes that I will see His purpose why He allowed this to happen, I will go on and praise Him more...

Ang ganda ng year-to-date stats ko at for sure hihigitin ako ng failed audits na ito pero for sure din He can turn around ang mga pangit na bagay into something beautiful and something that will bring glory to His name! Will be waiting upon Him lang...

Praise Him forever!

"Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name...

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
..."

Thursday, August 7, 2008

cry baby?



Right now, I just want to cry.
And hide my face.
I am so mad at myself.
So disappointed...

But then my situation does not change the fact that
He is faithful,
He is sovereign,
and that in ALL THINGS He works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

Even if right now I do not understand why...
Why oh why?

The LORD Speaks

Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:
"Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-

while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

"Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?

"Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.

The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?

Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

"What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!

"Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,

which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?

What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,

to water a land where no man lives,
a desert with no one in it,

to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?

Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?

From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens

when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?

"Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades?
Can you loose the cords of Orion?

Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons
or lead out the Bear with its cubs?

Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God's dominion over the earth?

"Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?

Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?

Who endowed the heart with wisdom
or gave understanding to the mind?

Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

when the dust becomes hard
and the clods of earth stick together?

"Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions

when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in a thicket?

Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

...Rebel sigh

If you love someone, there are many things you will do for that person because you love him--not because it's what you'd prefer if love did not enter the picture. The fact is, love has entered the picture. Therefore, in your heart, you can be very honest when you tell him you really prefer to do what He wants, because, more than your own pleasure, you want His. When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him. If I say yes to that question, can't I say yes to pleasing Him? Can't I say yes even if it means a sacrifice? A little quiet reflection will remind me that yes to God always leads in the end to joy. We can absolutely bank on that.

-an excerpt from the book
"Passion and Purity"
by Elisabeth Elliot

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

32:26

(Disclaimer: I am sorry for being me, but thank you for being patient... the Lord is not finish with me yet eh!)


Genesis 32:26 says--Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."


I was wrestling with God few days ago. Over a major thing... I really don't know why every time it's Sunday He would speak and convict me and I would end up crying... Just crying, and would find myself wrestling with HIM!

The wrestling moment happened that same night. I was actually praying the whole day, asking HIM for wisdom and enlightenment.

I am just so burdened.
I am so affected.
I don't want to see them (for now).
I can't get over it and can't let it go.
I want to run, as in run lang forever... As if pwede?

Well, indeed the Lord is faithful! He is ever faithful... The "blessing" came the same night (or may I say 'morning' cause that was around 4am na! hehe).

I was again left in awe of HIM when He answered:

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." -John 15:16-17

I was like, "Okay Lord, I think I heard that from our Servant Leadership class earlier... Whew!"

'Was praying more and more and finally another one big blow from the Lord:

"Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it." -Luke 11:28

I have no where to go, had no other choice but to say-- YES, LORD! And remembered, hindi nga pala pwede yung "No, Lord!" Waaaahhh!

And so... I am blessed!

And He is faithful... Forever, He is faithful!

I will rest and hold on to that lang...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Venting out

Disclaimer: Please be patient, God is not finish with me yet.

Okay, so I had to stop for a while and do this... Naiinis ako... How do you tell people you are not comfortable with the way they crack jokes?

Here's how I did it-- I sent them an email:

"You are my friends and I respect you so much... but may I plea that you also respect me? hehe...

Hindi naman po ako galit pero sobrang hindi lang po ako natutuwa sa mga green and S-E-X jokes... especially if you will include my name in it... I have never done it and I'm proud about it kasi it is my way of honoring my Creator... not that I am condemning people who've committed it, nor I'm being so self-righteous, I just want you to know where and what my stand is, what my conviction is about that issue... at dun papasok yung respect. Just want to let you know para wala tayong magiging tampuhan in the furture, and if you have problems with me, sabihin nyo lang din... I am very open for rebuke din naman! :D

Super thanks for your understanding heart... Mwuah! :D
"

Thank God they understood my sentiments. I hope this will be the last time that they will involve me (even my name lang) on something about that 3-letter-word...

Haayyy...

(trabaho na ulet!)

Friday, July 25, 2008

I am not my own...

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 -

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Romans 12

(A very wonderful reminder and encouragement... Special thanks to Osie for giving me the verse for today 12:1-2!)

Living Sacrifices

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Love

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Psalm of Single-mindedness

I received an email from a friend who shared this to me...

Thought of posting it here...

A Psalm of Single-mindedness
by Joe Bayly

"Lord of reality
make me real
not plastic
synthetic
pretend phony
an actor playing out his part
hypocrite.
I don't want
to keep a prayer list
but to pray
nor agonize to find Your will
but to obey
what i already know
to argue theories of inspiration
but to submit to Your Word.
I don't want
to explain the difference
between eros and philos
and agape
but to love.
I don't want
to sing as if I meant it
I want to mean it.
I don't want
to tell it like it is
but to be it
like you want it.
I don't want
to think another needs me
but I need him
else I'm not complete.
I don't want
to tell others how to do it
but to do it
to have to be always right
but to admit it when I'm wrong.
I don't want to be a census taker
but an obstetrician
nor an involved person, a professional
but a friend
I don't want to be insensitive
but to hurt where other people hurt
nor to say I know how you feel
but to say God knows
and I'll try
if you'll be patient with me
and meanwhile I'll be quiet.
I don't want to scorn the cliches of others
but to mean everything I say
including this.
"

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

to My beloved...

Para sa pinaka-mamahal ko...

Random thoughts for your special day (as in random kasi hindi ko yan masyadong pinag-isipan, nagmamadali eh... hehe!)

I am not sure if I have expressed how much you mean to me and if I've shown how much I appreciate you and that I really, really praise God for you... Uhm, on second thought, feeling ko naman oo eh, hehe!

I remember one time during our prayer time, your ditse prayed "we thank you for him because he has been our MAN, the man behind us; to take care of us, to assist us, to run errands for us, to pray for us and with us... in the absence of our older brothers and Papa... he is there for us ALWAYS"... And until now that prayer bring tears to my eyes!

You just don't know how much you mean to me (or I think you know that na! Haha! I always tell you naman eh...) Or perhaps you just don't realize how much your presence makes a difference in my life... And how you being away on weekdays make me miss you na parang ang tagal ng isang linggo (O.A. noh?) but it's true!

Kahit na minsan may mga moment na nakaka-inis ka at medyo nakaka-pikon ka kasi ang mature-mature mo mag-isip... That it makes me feel somewhat worried that you won't enjoy your life as you should. I always wanted for you not to go through what we have gone through and I'm thankful na sinasagot naman ni Lord yun! At ibang-iba tlga ang pinagdadaanan mo...

And I hope and pray you will continue to walk in the light... Never ever let go of HIM! Never quit... You are so intense and so passionate with your walk and true enough sometimes it can be so frustrating when people seem to be... Yun na yun! But then that's the time that you have to check where is your focus? On HIM lang, on HIM lang dapat!

"He must become greater; I must become less." -John 3:30

Keep the fire burning, dig deeper and deeper, grow more and more, fall inlove with HIM over and over again... Never get enough, because you won't! Allow HIM to consume you (from the inside out) according to HIS purpose and for HIS glory!

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:6

I am so happy that I have you, as in! I never thought I'd have a best-friend, an accountable and prayer partner and a number one fan (hmm... eto kaya ay imagination ko lng? no.1 fan? haha!) in you pero sooobrang I appreciate you!

And I also want to say sorry for the things I've done na hindi ko dapat ginawa, for the words that shouldn't have been said, for my "disclaimers" na baka na-o-offned ka na or something. And for being ME, yung nakakainis na "Ako" to the point na nasasaktan ko na ikaw... Na nasasaktan ko na kayo... And thank you for being patient with me, thank you for being patient with your ate always...

Basta what I promised you, I will keep... Hindi ko man alam kung paano pero alam ko na si Lord ang bahala sa atin!

Go! Go! Go lang!

Para sa pinaka-mamahal kong bunso:

I LOVE YOU and Happy-happy 18th birthday Majar!

May mga gusto pa akong sabihin pero saka na lang... I'll see you this weekend! HUG!

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:13-14

Monday, July 14, 2008

Waaahhh!!!

I can't believe it! This song has been playing in my mind mula nang umalis ako sa bahay until now na nsa office na ako... Anu bah!?! Tama na!!

Waaaahhhh!!!

"I never believed in love
I was deceived by love
I never had much luck with lovers before...

And I couldn't compete
I seemed just part of the street
To be walked on by everyone but then

Then, I found a very special love in you
It's a feeling that's so totally new
Over and over, it's burning inside
And I found a very special love in you
And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I'm never gonna let go...

You're not like the rest
I know you're one of the best
You give more than you should and take nothing in return

Stay always with me
And I always will be
The one person that you can count on always to love you

And I found a very special love in you
It's a feeling that's so totally new
Over and over, it's burning inside
And I found a very special love in you
And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I'm never gonna let go

And I Found a very special love in you
It's a feeling that's so totally new
Over and over, it's burning inside
I found a very special love in you
And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I'm never gonna let go...
"

Kasalan mo ito Kiko! Grrr... Hindi ko ko ito papanoorin noh?! Unless kasama ko kayong lhat! Wahahaha!

Sarah, give me a break please... Waaahhh! Tama na!

Hahahaha!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Halo-halo



I feel like a halo-halo...

As in mixed... EMO...

-I am in denial, for some reason... Ayokong tanggapin ang katotohanan. I don't (or tama bang sabihin I choose not to) understand you. I would like to believe that we do not speak the same language, and that is why you do not know where I am coming from and same with me... Hindi ko malaman where you are coming from, I am saying something and you are interpreting it the opposite, hehe! How come? Nakakainis at nakakalungkot lang na there has not been any opportunity for us to talk, as in real talk para ma-settle lahat pero... Pero, pero, pero--- the Lord has (a different?) plan! And I just leave it up to Him. For the record-- iniyakan kita kagabi... Na-mimis din kasi kita eh!

-I am so tired and pretty, I fell like I'm going to be sick. Nagbabadya ata ang sipon at headache that might lead to flu... Waaaahhh! Ayoko pero parang gusto ko na rin! Hehe. Hindi ko pa nagagamit ang SL ko, in fairness... Lord, Kayo na ang bahala.

-I am a li'l bit annoyed, our online letter tool is still unavailable at wala pang notice kung kelan sya maayos. Sobrang mano-mano kami gumawa ng letter for the past few days, super prone to mistake and it's eating so much time and whew, affecting our productivity. Good thing people are there to pray with me and for me(I know you know who you are!), they remind me of God's soveriegnty kahit ganito ang estado namin sa office. Salamat sa inyong lahat, sa mga encouragement and all!

-I am inspired, falling inlove with HIM more and more! I am thankful how the inspiration He has been giving me is so evident (that is according to majority of people I'm with most of the time) in my countenance. Hehe. Blooming daw oh? Wahaha... At sa aking vitamins, you just don't know how much I appreciate you and thank the Lord for you.

-I am excited, July 25, Aug 1, and Aug 19-25 vacation leave! I just can't wait! Two fridays akong naka-leave two weeks from now. Planning and thiking of going out on a date and then will be seeing Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio sa Ultra! Then here SG trip na. Waaaahhh! I'm just so excited!

-I am missing you, 4 weeks pa ata bago ka bumalik from the States. This is the first time na nawala ka ng super tagal (since we started our discipleship last year). And everytime I remember that you are not here, medyo nalulungkot ako. Para akong batang iniwan ng nanay! Hehe. But anyway, I'm looking forward to see you again first week of Aug! And yeah, I just can't wait because I am sooo missing you!

-I am thankful, the Lord is ever faithful and so good to have provided for our everyday needs. Despite of the ongoing pagtaas ng mga bilihin, nakaka-survive pa rin kami. At kahit na medyo nakaka-worry talaga ang mga pagbabadya pang pag-taas ng pamasahe, He never fail to give me peace and calm the "about to" rage storm in me. So again, thank You my God! My great provider...

And the halo-halo moment goes on... Makadaan nga ng chowking later! Hehe! :D

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Prayer Request

How thoughtful and sweet of this young man from the youth ministry to ask me of my prayer concern early this morning... Kaya naalala ko bigla yung countdown ko! At syempre na-excite na naman ako.

Here is a closer look (todo na 'to, hindi na kasi kaya nang satelite ng Google earth) of Covenant Evangelical Free Church in Woodlands Drive, Singapore, where the conference will be held.



As I asked that young man to pray for my SG trip, may I also request that you please continue to pray for me; pls pray for provision, preparation of my heart and mind. etc... All for the glory of our King!

Thank you all... :D

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." - Hebrews 12:11

Monday, June 23, 2008

Beautiful Storm


I was (or may I say-- we were) so amazed on how God intervened and used the storm for us to settle things over... It was so funny but so gracious of Him that He worked on cancelling all or our appointments that day just for us to talk...

We poured our hearts (and hurts) out to each other... We prayed together... And personally, I felt so relieved, ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam ko (kahit ang sakit nung pagkakasuntok ko sa sarili ko, hehe!)... And like I said, I now know better where you are coming from. Praise the Lord for that! Indeed it is so important to hear other people's side and to add the thought that I (or sige na nga WE) have to "consider others better than yourself" para maggaan ang lahat... Even if we missed three of our members, we were able to settle and reconcile major issues, and again praise the Lord for that!

Lord You are good and Your mercy endures forever! Looking forward for more beautiful "storm" that brings wonderful "rainbow"

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I love you

"I don't know if you're married but I love you..
You just made my day!
This is the first ever good news that I got in the past 3 days...
We got hit by a tornado here, a colleague passed away and then I received my loan statement showing I owe $4000.00 and so I panicked!
But you made my day San! Thank you so much!"


One happy customer!
Yipee! Oh di ba, he loves me daw!

Nyahaha! (--,)

Monday, June 16, 2008

cliff

The battle goes on...

I was on the verge of falling apart, for some reason... And He spoke to me... And saved me...

I just cried, apart from Him, I am nothing, I am lost!

Even though there are times na nasasabi ko rin yung sinabi ni King David:

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?" -Psalm 139:7

Na tipong gusto ko munang magtago Sayo...

How can You be so personal? How can You be so quiet at times and yet Your presence is still felt?

Truly, You know all things...

Trully, You are my strength when I am weak...
When I fall down You pick me up...
When I am dry, You fill my cup...
Because You are my all in all!

(and to all of you.... thank you for being patient with me... magdi-disclaimer na ulet ako: Pls be patient, God is not finished with me yet.)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Kamukha ko ba?

Hehehe...

My colleague made this "south park characters" for his team mates and I ended up naiinggit so I made my own! Kaso hindi ko alam kung kamukha ko ba...

Here goes:



Hindi ata ako magaling kumeme ng sarili ko kaya I came up with that. Hahaha! If you wanna try creating yours, check out this link:

http://images.southparkstudios.com/games/create/sp_game.swf

Para sa mga walang magawa...

Friday, June 6, 2008

"Will do..."

I was just speaking with a homeowner few minutes ago and she was telling me she is on a financial bond because of unemployment and that she is still looking for a job...

I told her then I will refer her (or connect her call over) to the Home Owner's Assistance Department for payment options... As a protocol before ending the call we need to make sure that the customer's needs have been met and so I asked "is there anything else that I may assist you with before I connect you?" and she said "no, just pray!" and heard myself promptly responded "Will do then... thank you for calling chase and stay on the line, I will connect your call..."

I'm somewhat amazed... I do not normally "witness" boldly when I'm on the phone as part of our Company's policy not to mix business with "religion" (or "faith" may I say) but then after the call I examined and asked myself "did I really mean that when I told her 'will do...'?"

So now I'm praying...

"Dear Lord, may you be the One to provide for Ms. Crane's need and lead her to a good paying job that she may be able to pay her mortgage and keep her credit in good standing. I pray You will use this experience for her to be closer to you... This I commit in Jesus' name, amen..."

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lord, give me a SIGN!

I like this...

I got if from: http://www.answersingenesis.org/aftereden/view.aspx?id=142


Thursday, May 29, 2008

82 days to go...

I'm excited! My countdown begins...

In exactly 82 days from today, I'll be flying off with my discipler to attend IDMC 2008 in Singapore...

( check out http://www.idmc.org.sg/idmc_2008.htm )

I would like to say "THANK YOU AND I HUG YOU" for all those friends I partnered in praying for this. Confirm na na makaka-sama ako kasi I have booked my plane tickets and registered delagate na ako! Praise the Lord for that! So ayun na nga, salamat sa inyong lahat... Hindi ko na kayo maiisa-isa kasi alam ko naman na kilala nyo ang mga sarili nyo. Si Lord na ang bahala sa inyo... Please continue to Pray for us (ni T. Carol); provision, safety and preparation of our hearts and minds sa conference...

I was over-browisng the ineternet (system downtime kasi kami eh kaya petiks, hehe!) earlier at ilan lang eto sa mga images na kinuha ko, mga "what to look forward" ko...

The Conference


The location, from Google Earth, hehe!


Hopefully, ma-capture ko din 'tong moment na ito...

Ayun lang, excited talaga ako!

Amen and Amen!

There are lot of times I find myself falling on my knees and saying: IT IS ONLY BY HIS GRACE TALAGA...

And I can only say AMEN and AMEN to this song...

"Time measured out my days
Life carried me along
In my soul I yearned to follow God
But knew Id never be so strong
I looked hard at this world
To learn how heaven could be gained
Just to end where I began
Where human effort is all in vain

Chorus
Were it not for grace
I can tell you where Id be
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me
I know how that would go
The battles I would face
Forever running but losing this race
Were it not for grace

So here is all my praise
Expressed with all my heart
Offered to the Friend who took my place
And ran a course I could not start
And when He saw in full
Just how much His would cost
He still went the final mile between me and heaven
So I would not be lost

Repeat Chorus

Forever running but losing this race
Were it not for grace"

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

disoriented

in other words-- windang!

As in na-wiwindang pa ako (particularly my bio-clock) sa sched ko, effective nung lunes pang-3pm to 12am na kami... at hanep! mas inaantok ako... hehehe, pagdating ng mga 8pm onwards parang gusto ko nang umuwi... pero PTL! ang sarap ng tulog ko ha, from 1am to 9am (for the past few days, hehe!) feeling normal na tao ako! nakakatulog na ako ng madilim pa ang langit. nyehehe!

although katakot lang yung going home hours ko... paki-include po ako sa prayers ha? gising pa naman ang mga tao sa mandaluyong pag-umuuwi ako at mabilis naman ang byahe pero ayun nga... katakot!

only by His grace lang...

haaaayyyness!

*wink-wink*

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Constantly

You're constantly on my mind...

It's just amazing how the "DEAL" is not yet over but God is teaching and has taught me one greatest lesson-- to pray for you more and more each day and to focus on HIM more and more, instead of me focusing on myself and you...

I made it clear to myself that I will loosen my grip on you. And remind myself of that words from Paul-- "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but ONLY GOD, WHO MAKES THINGS GROW.” always...

It is not that painful like it was the first time although thoughts (well, some thoughts about you) still make me cry from time to time, and indeed it is only with God's grace that I am able to understand and have peace despite the fact that I have (feeling ko lang ha! hehe) somewhat lost you...

Hehe! Ang arte ko noh...???!!!

I just want to tell you-- I love you... Alam ko naman na alam mo na yun! At sasabihin ko ulit sa'yo, HIS love is greater! At ayun na nga, you are constantly on my mind, in my prayers...

Until then!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

the art of letting go

(crap, ang arte!)

I just had to stop doing my routes... I'm so sad because of this news I just learned... And I just want to cry...

An email from my mentor:

"subject: Thank you
sent: 05/01/2008 03:33 AM

Hi everyone!

Today is my last day with Chase. Tomorrow, I venture off into becoming a professional teacher for children.

You may not have realized it, but you all have paved this path for me...and I want to let all of you know how grateful I am to have known you. Finally...... I know what my purpose in life is! You all pointed me to the right direction.

It had been a great experience and a pleasure to have worked with you all!

keep in touch, k? =)"


And aaaarrrrgggghhh! I knew that this was coming... They told me about this since last year, although the original date was June 2008. And so eto, iba tlga pag it's happening na, eto na yun! Reality men...

Shocks, gusto ko lang umiyak! As in... Waaahhhh! I will miss you... naman!

Basta, may HIS will be done in your life...

Aaarrggg! the art of letting go of people coming into your life and eventually leaving.... When you thought you've mastered it... Ay hindi pala! ='(

Saturday, April 26, 2008

crying over you

I really can't believe I'm crying over you... All of you, people of my world!

Hindi naman ako ganito dati eh, wala naman akong paki-alam sa inyo kung ano mga ginagwa nyo as long as hindi naman ako involve, care bears lang.

But still, I couldn't help but praise HIM, because HE is so good, He is so wonderful and He is sovereign... Because He is teaching me to love them, and care for them... for their souls... for their brokenness... and most especially, He is teaching me to pray for them more and more!

At sobrang na-bu-burden ako! Iniiyakan ko sila... anu ba 'to...

I have been praying that I may be able to minister to them kahit sa pinaka-maliit na paraan. Kahit na hindi ko pansin na may magandang epekto yung buhay ko sa kanila... That I may reflect HIS light and that I may be used to lead them in knowing HIM... that they will turn thier back from the pattern of this world...

Pero grabe, kabikabila ang immorality, new age and post modern point of view, bisyo, transference ng "kakaibang" culture from the other line... at iba pa... and here's the sad part: they all think IT'S OKAY! It seems to me everybody is doing "it".

I even received this fwd text message saying:
"lesson for today--
Never commit the same mistake again...

maraming ibang kasalanan jan, i-try mo naman!"


gusto kong patulan yung nag-text eh... haayyy... ibang level tlga!

I remember my brother when he was new sa UP, he was getting frustrated with the "different" point of view na nakakasalamuha sa campus that he told me he want to transfer to a different University by next semester. So I told him-- "How can you reach out and minister to other people if you would always cover and hide yourself sa church and community of believers? How will those people know HIM through you if you will avoid them?"

At ngayon I feel like I need to remind my self that! Parang I'm torn between (hmmm...) leaving this world (?) at mag-iba na ng karera.. Pero, pero, pero I know that God made it clear to me why He placed me here. At wala naman akong magagawa but to submit and obey Him...

I guess eto lang tlga yung mga moment na na-kakalungkot at feeling ko kailangan ko nga matinding encouragement to go on... Ni wala akong kasama dito na pwede kong ma-sheran ng burden na 'to...

It is not like I'm giving up, thinking that the enemy won... the battle has been won, thousand years ago, and besides, the battle is the Lord's... Sobrang nalulungkot lang tlga ako now. As in aaarrggghhh! Naiiyak lang talaga ako...

I may not know when, but one thing I am sure of-- HIS name will be glorified kung ano man ang kalabasan nito...

(isa pang malalim na... buntung hininga)
haaayyyy...

Monday, April 21, 2008

It isn't over til it's over

"It isn't over 'til it's over"

That was one of the most resounding and unforgettable remarks given by the Lawyer we spoke with earlier... and I totally agree!

I firmly believe that things are happening according to HIS plans and according to HIS purpose.

I do feel that he's hurting over the fact that she seemed to have given up or seemed to be playing games or doing some ego trip or what ever...

And the reality that he has to deal with so many issues with his life and all... Whew! Parang blow by blow...

Somehow I knew that it would come to this... God gave me a warning during camp when one of the campers was crying over the so called "break-up"... uhm, let's not talk about that!

Bast ang alam ko... It's not yet over! Couldn't help but remember the song...

"Here we are still together
We are one
So much time wasted
Playing games with love

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
To keep our love alive
But baby it ain't over 'til it's over

How many times
Did we give up
But we always worked things out
And all my doubts and fears
Kept me wondering, yeah
If I'd always, always be in love

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't
over 'til it's over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't
over 'til it's over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't
over 'til it's over
Over, over, over.

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
To kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't
over 'til it's over
Over, over, over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
"

So ayun, as much as I would like to ask God to take away the pain that you are feeling/experiencing right now-- HE has other plans! My only prayer is that these experience would draw you (and her) closer to HIM, that HE would reveal more of Himself to you... And that you would learn more wonderful things behind all of this hurtful and traumatic experience... At the end of it all... HIS name will be glorified! It isn't over 'til it's over...

"We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:19

I love you Kuya... but indeed, HIS love is far greater than any other love this world could offer!

Friday, March 28, 2008

I'm bleeding!

It's been a week since we started our training for Escrow Dispute Routes.

At eto lang ang masasabi ko-- NOSE BLEED SYA!!!

I mean, I feel so privileged to be part of this function kasi sobrang mahirap (as in pinaka-mahirap daw sya na function according to our CAP) at sobrang nakakapag-pagana ng braincells,
pero aaarrrggghhh... dugu-duguan na kaming mga newbies!

masyadong mabusisi, super subjective to the highest level...
at case to case basis pa...
tapos buti sana kung e/a to e/a lang!
eh kaso may e/a to HUD-1 scenario pa
at bukod pa dun may e/a to e/a na hindi 12mos ang generation date eksena pa...

waaaahhhh!!! parang ayoko na ah... pero mas ayoko namang bumalik sa Pime (hahaha! na-mimis ko sila pero ayokong bumalik sa 8hrs on the phones, hehe).
So sabi ko nga eh, sige lang, GO! aja-aja fighting lang ako dito!

haaayyyness...

(sorry if im speaking jargons... kailangan ko talagang mag-vent out...)

Lord... guide me!!! waaaahhhh!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Friendship is friendship no matter what...


Friends...
They love you.
They care for you.
They tell you "you're funny"
They tell you "you look pretty today" (tapos you'd ask-- "today lang?")
They keep your secrets and tell you to keep theirs as well.
They give you advise and encourage you when you're down.
They pray for you and remind you (specially when you tend to forget) that God is in control of everything.
They rebuke you and correct you when necessary.

And whether they tell you something good or bad -- friendship is still there!
Friendship is friendship no matter what.

Friday, March 14, 2008

inbox

***
03/11/2008 09:17 PM

sis, punta daw si ------.. =)
hay salamat kay LOrd.. hehe..

***
03/04/2008 03:40 AM

hey, i appreciate you checking on me from time to time... of all people, you are the least person i expect to care and worry about me too much...

just so you know, i do appreciate your existence right now... having you with me towards the new chapter of my life makes it a bit easier to move on...

im sorry if im indifferent right now... im just not really okay yet... but ill be fine... thank you...

***
01/31/2008 11:24 PM

i've never been well versed with the Biblical speeches, but if had been, it would sound something like that.Ü
sana lang mahanap nila yung genuine solution sa challenges na kinakaharap nila ngayon.

nagmamahal,
charo

***
01/31/2008 10:03 PM

i appreciate you asking if i can already go back to work...
how i wish it was --- asking me that...
nehow- i have to go back to work na rin naman...
and dapat kayanin... thank you...

mwah!

***
sent: 01/22/2008 04:48 AM

ei there...kmusta??? i was so encouraged dun sa mga blog mo,i read them all...all i can say is WOW...hindi ako magaling gumawa ng mga blog kaya humahanga nalang ako..hehe.it made me smile seriously.
you probably saw me from time to time being serious but all those stuff made me smile..thanks raj..

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Deal or No deal?

"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, 'Follow me!'"


The Lord's been dealing with me. Masakit sya. As in, it hurts you know! But I know it is for my own good. The process wherein I'd become the person HE wants me to be... At masakit sya talga... As in malalim yung pain... Pero sabi ko nga, sige po Lord, carry lang! Unless I go through this hindi ako magiging victorious sa everyday battle ko... So, GO lang... because I love you!

And I say to myself--- PLEASE BE PATIENT, GOD IS NOT FINISH WITH YOU YET!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Will I give up on you?

I have been asking my self that question for the past few weeks...

I remember someone told me-- "Kung ayaw na nila eh di pabayaan mo na..." And I couldn't help but react violently, crap, ayoko nga! But (at isang malaking BUT) then, I remember myself telling other people- "to let God do His own work. It is HIM who will let the seed grow, in HIS own time..."

It's just me hurting! Waaaahhh! Am I giving up na? Should I?

Will I give up on you? :'(

Friday, January 25, 2008

There's a History Behind the Song

*Jologs mode*




Saksi ang YAFE how I went gaga over this song. Crap, nakakahiya! Wahahaha! Tama ba naman kasing sa bus eto yung pinapalabas sa Video on board (videoke ang drama ni manong driver at manong kundoktor) then pagdating ko sa office, wahlah-- eto pa din yung background music! Nyahahaha!

So ayun, na-LSS tuloy ako. At natatwa lang ako sa sarili ko... Crap! Japan-Japan! Hahaha!

"We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time

Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay

But somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me

Sometimes good-byes are not forever
It doesn't matter if you're gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home

And somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong with me
Letting go is just another way to say
I'll always love you so

We had the right love
At the wrong time
Maybe we've only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
'Cause

Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
Will come to see
That you belong
With me
"

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Naiiyak pa din ako


This song made me cry...
It still does!
Sigh...

"Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
I still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It’ll all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home"

Monday, January 21, 2008

Ten

Account ng mga Realizations at Pangyayari

1. EMO mode discipleship- it happened Tuesday last week. I did not saw it coming. Usually our discipleship would be tamang halakhakan lang (may cartoon character side kasi si T. Carol eh, hehe!) while sharing and encouraging one another and studying God's Word... But then, life is full of surprises! And indeed God has blessed me and gave me my dear discipler. I never wanted her to think/feel/or to even have "that" burden over a very sensitive issue sa aking buhay... haaayyy.... Sya ang nanguna na umiyak at kaya ayun-- mega crying moment kami together.

2. Prayer time- right after the discipleship, I went to the Prayer Room. Ang ganda ha! KUDOS and PTL for the people who worked hard in remodelling the room. Anyhow, the crying moment was continued sa Prayer Room... I needed to be alone with God to pray for the Tuesday Group (people I've committed to pray for/with every Tuesday) at ipanalangin yung "emo" concern. I enjoyed it. Moments like that are to savour... Being in the loving arms of my Father in heaven...

3. Moment with Missionary- after my prayer time (syempre chronological dapat noh? hehehe!) I went to the wash room para mag-ayos ng sarili, dahil namumugto ang mata ko kakaiyak... May nakasabay akong babae around her 40's, who happens to be a Missionary for Bangkok and Nepal... After over hearing her conversation with someone who went to a cubicle, I initiated the conversation and asked her-- "Missionary po pala kayo?" And it all started there. Sobrang chikahan lang kami, at umupo pa kami sa pantry to be more comfortable. I was praising and thanking God at that moment. Sobrang amazed na naman ako... She shared to me her spiritual warfare sa mission field, her spiritual gifts, mga experiences that tested her faith and such, showed me pictures from Nepal and Bangkok... I wanted to be a missionary (as in) and I shared it to ate Joy (the Missionary), I told her that Missionaries are included in my prayer list and she was so glad kasi kailangan daw talaga nya ng mga nananalangin- not just for her but with her- she gave me something, a prayer guide something, at ayun, sa mga pagkukwentuhan namin, somehow, God gave me an affirmation... Though I still have to WAIT! Habakkuk 2:3! Right after when she prayed for me she uttered-- "And lakas nga ng annointing mo eh!" And before we parted ways, she told me to read the book of Samuel. At sana daw mabasa ko at makita ko yung pinakita sa kanya ni God through Hannah... Hmmm...

4. I just feel so blessed to have my BUNSOs... Both of them are sooo being used by God, as in amazingly sa kanila nag-mamanifest most of the answered prayer concerns. So thank you, and I mean it! They are older than me pero since ako ang Ate sa kanila... Pag umiiral ang mga kaartehan nila as bunso naku iiral din ang ATE mode ko! Nyahaha!

5. January 16th- at 6:26 am I received a text message saying-- "Please pray for my Dad. He passed away last night... Pls pray for my Mom to be steady too... thanks!" It was a shocking news indeed. I have been praying for this friend of mine... Praying to God that He may open doors of opportunity so I can minister to her, share the gospel and stuff. Although I have been doing so for the past months, mga pa-simpleng "evan" mode whenever we're exchanging emails and when making kwentuhan during our breaks... I also gave her a "Toll-free Card - To Set Your Soul Free" thing para may pwede syang basahin... Pero when I received her text message,after praying for her and the family, I was like-- "Lord, how do I minister to someone who just lost her Dad ba?" As in total black out, hindi ko talga alam kung paano... I feel and believe that God is teaching me "something" and I just pray that I may be able to see what's that "something" all about. When I wrote her a letter I shared to her Matthew 5:4. Hopefully when she gets back to work I can get back to my "evan-work" too... Sigh!

6. The discipler in me- I was a bit sad when one of my friend/disciple texted me and said she can't come to the seminar last Saturday. But then God reminded me of Psalm 27:13-14. I was affirmed that He has great plans for the spiritual friendship we are developing... Despite the sad news, atleast one of them (another friend I'm discipling) came! Yehey! And she was so blessed daw... And I praise God for that! May kapalit agad yung disappointment ko dun sa isa. And wait there's more, come sunday afternoon I was doing my devotion and prayer time, I finally said YES to a challenge/privilege a Pastor-friend offered... I'm going to disciple a youth! And I'm so excited about it. I have been praying for an opportunity to serve the Youth ministry (kahit paano) even before I was asked if I can disciple one. Galing-galing ni Lord! I just pray that He will continue to empower me in ministering to them (the three people), that I may reflect His light and sana they will also learn to love the Lord more and more, as in deeply!

7. Family Prayer Meeting- together with my housemates (a.k.a. Majar and Raya), after quite some time, thank God that we were able to have the time, strength and the burden to pray together as ONE family (kahit kulang kami, hehe!). There were some MAJOR issues in the family that needed to be prayed for. As usual, we finished midnight na! We stared the prayer meeting around 10pm, at dahil nga it was few month ago since we prayed together nang ganun, ayun, kahit antok na antok na kami (and to think Majar has to go to UPLB pa the following morning and the two of us ni Raya in CONNECT) GO lang! We laid our personal concerns, I shared to them convictions and realizations over things, burden over our other brothers, concern for Mama and Papa, and such and such! I initiated the prayer meeting to check on how they are doing personally and spiritually, also to encourage them, but little did I know that I would be more encouraged and blessed afterards! We all cried... As in emotional kaming tatlo when we were praying. I was so amazed pa how they prayed for the family and for me... I never realized how I am making an impact in their lives... Ah basta, overwhelmed ako after the prayer time! And I just hope we could do it more often.

8. Another "Joy" in my life- I met her last Saturday, she was introduced by Tita Linda Davis. She became an instant text mate-friend and praise God that she was able to join us earlier in Connect for bible study. Exchanging of text message with her was a blessing! I was surprised that she asked me of discipleship, witnessing and such. I am blessed because she was blessed... Hopefully we could develop deeper friendship in Christ!

9. Discipline- I need more of that! I have a deadline to meet-- April 19, 2008. I have to finish all of my modules and assignments, I have 10 and I have only submitted 2 of them, how delinquent of me! Crap!And I am very disappointed with myself and I am getting so scared with the thought that I might not make it on time and that I might be wasting the investment I put in it. I have been asking people close to me to pray about it! Para maging accountable ako at gawin ko talaga ang dapat kong gawin. I was working on module #3 kanina but still I wasn't able to finish it, so sabi ko I'll do it this week (here we go again)... I'm off from work tomorrow pero I have a schedule meeting up with someone. I don't know how God did it pero the appointment was cancelled, and the first thing that came in to my mind is-- "Magagawa ko yung papers ko!" Somehow answered prayer pa din! Galing-galing!

10. Two weeks of suffering left- and i just can't wait! January 26 and Febuary 2, after those shifts, "Saturday-Sunday OFF" eto na ulet ako! Haaayyy... Two months din akong pinarusahaun dun ah! Romans 8:18

Thursday, January 17, 2008

email

Subject: wat time lunch nyo?

this morning i just realized how i miss you guys...

since nag-saturday shif kasi ako (at si mike) we never had the chance to go out, na nang tayong tatlo lang...

sigh...

sana pwde tyong mag-off set na lunch noh?

hehehe! kahit hindi na ako matulog...



" Be quick to listen, slow to speak & slow to become angry... "

Rajsh Sabio
Customer Care Professional II
Prime Home Loan Servicing
JP Morgan Chase Bank, NA
12F Philam Life Tower
8767 Paseo De Roxas, Makati City
mobile phone:
(--,)

Scrabble in Stocking Feet

The Ache of Expecting--

"It's like taking a glass and filling it-- first with stones, and you pile them to the top, but there are empty spaces.
Then you try pebbles, and the fit is better, but still there are pockets where nothing goes.
But if you take water, and pour it in, you fill it completely--no empty spaces at all.
You're like that. You fit me. You're like water over stones."

Thursday, January 10, 2008

An Excerpt Worthy of Posting


Here is an excerpt from Dr. Neil Anderson's "The Bondage Breaker"

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels." Mark 8:34-38

BE FREE!

1. Deny Yourself- to deny yourself is to deny self-rule. Until we deny ourselves that which was never meant to be ours (the role of being god in our lives) we will never be at peace with ourselves or with God, and will never be free. When you deny yourself, you invite God to take the throne of your life, to occupy what is rightfully His, so that you may function as a person who is spiritually alive in Christ.

2. Pick up Your Cross Daily- not our own cross but Christ's cross. We are delivered because we died with Him. To pick up the cross daily means to acknowledge everyday that we belong to God. When we pick up the cross, we affirm that our identity is not based on our physical existence but in our relationship with God. Our life is in Christ, because He is our life (see Colossians 3:3-4).

3. Follow Christ- we are not designed to function independent of God. Only when we are dependent on Him and intent of following Christ are we compelled and free to prove that the will of God is good, acceptable and perfect.

4. Sacrifice the Lower Life to gain the Higher Life- if you want to save your natural life, you will lose it (see Mark 8:35).

5. Sacrifice Temporal to gain the Eternal- it is far better to know that we are the children of God than to gain something in this world, which we will eventually lose. Satan's ultimate lie is that you are capable of being god of your own life-- and his bondage is the attempt to live as though his lie were truth.



I always carry this yellow pad paper where I wrote this excerpt (to carry the book all the time would be inconvenient for me eh), purpose is for me to be always reminded of the meaning of being free in Christ and the means to follow Him (all mentioned above). It has also been one of the tools I use in ministering to my non-C friends and to friends who just came to know the Saviour and those whom I am establishing a spiritual friendship (two of my dear friends I am having discipleship) with.

I haven't finished the book though, I am still going through the STEPS TO FREEDOM process and I am just amazed (that little by little) I myself am experiencing true FREEDOM I never realized I am in need of!

Last Christmas Season, I bought two copies of the book and had it as my exchange gift (for Connect and Mosaic Party) because I am blessed to have read the book I would want more people to be blessed! And I strongly recommend that you read it and go through the STEPS TO FREEDOM Process, for you'll never know that there are "small things" that you need to let go of, things you never knew you need to renounce and stuff like that...

Ayun lang!

To god be the glory for Dr. Neil Anderson's Ministry!
You may also visit his ministry website at http://www.ficm.org