Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A lot of growing up to do

It really is flattering when people would tell you "You're matured to think that you're young..." but that doesn't mean that a person should stop there, stop maturing and growing.

It's funny and amazing how God would bring me into a situation to realize that, I am so grateful that He never fail to impress upon me that He is not through with me and that I have to go on lang with my sanctification journey.

Just when I thought I had it all right, here I am on a "new" journey. I wanted to freak out because it is just now that I came to REALLY realize that this ain't a joke, this is something serious and this means business-- walang lokohan na involve! At, shocks! Ang hirap pala talaga...

I do not want to make an argument over it or justify myself in front of God again, (since I have already done so last time, but I made a commitment not to do that again), basta ang prayer ko lang is He will continue to rule over me, bringing into my mind to just do what is right; to honor and glorify Him all the time.

I found myself stunned when the Lord answered my prayer. A prayer that goes like this: "Allow me to desire what You want for me and pluck out things that are not according to Your will".

Stunned kasi ang bigat pala nung prayer ko na yun! It was so heavy kasi (okay I'll share a story)... I have been praying for a major thing in my life for a couple of months and was waiting, uhm, mas tama ata na sabihing I was "expecting" that I'll get it September this year.

But then, lo and behold, to my surprise the Lord said NO and told me to wait until next year... I was like-- "What Lord? Aarggh! this can't be!"

And then He reminded me of my prayer that His desire and His will alone be done in my life. I felt like nabatukan ako, oo nga pala, yun nga pala ang prayer ko. At ayun na nga, ambigat-bigat pala nun, especially when I realized that what I want is not according to what He want. Kapal pa ng face ko to act like: I already told You about this Lord, why can't I have it? Pero mali, as in very wrong talaga.

Now I feel like a sunflower-- following the Sun (God) from east to west... At parang nasa heliotropic stage pa lang ata ako...

Just when I thought I am okay, I realized I have a lot of growing up to do. So, okay fine, I'm moving forward!

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus... And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." -Philippinas 1:6, 9-11

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