Sunday, December 30, 2007

mixed emotions

(Here is an excerpt from my prayer journal, I was somewhat feeling weird when I wrote this, sabi ko nga "mixed emotion" ako nito... Wala lang just wanna share...)

"Lord... I am very happy... but at the same time there's a part of me na natatakot. Scared in a sense na I might get too attached... na baka dumating yung time na masaktan ako for whatever reason na hindi ko po alam kung ano... So Lord I am lifting up to You my... May it be that as we grow closer to each other and learn from our experiences, we would also learn more of You! That the lessons we have learned and will learn may serve as a rebuke, an encouragement for us three. I pray that You cleanse us and continue to teach us to pursue righteousness and holiness. May it be Lord God that you teach us to be disciplined in terms of... May it be that we would truly hold accountable for one another... Bast po Lord, bottom line is kayo po ang bahala sa amin! Rule over this friendship..."

Saturday, December 15, 2007


"For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay"

Habakkuk 2:3

I had an emotional Friday yesterday.

I went home around 5am (kaw ba naman mag-hang out with two friends until 4am the previous night eh) Ayun at paguwi ko, umiiyak lang ako...

I was crying because of just one thing-- I had a major prayer item answered na, pero for the past few week I have been denying to myself that it was answered na. Yun tipo bang ayokong tanggapin na yun yung sagot ni God. Na tipong deadma galore lang ako, as if matatakasan ko ang katotohanan! Hehe, sorry naman daw Lord!

Sobrang tinamaan ako sa sinabi nung kaibigan ko na-- "You can never question God's sovereignty..." at meron pa syang matinding hirit "there's a difference between denial and conviction..." habang nagkukwento sya ng buhay-buhay nya. Little did he know that I was like tinatamaan galore! Hmp... the Lord works amazingly tlaga!

So until I woke up around 10am I was crying... And praying hard... I wasnt able to go to work nga for my Friday shift because of kakaisip at dahil sa kakaisip inatake ako ng tension head ache ko, hahaha! Ayun I had to sleep all night lang...

I was texting with my Mom, for the reason that she's the only one who knows all the details of this specific concern. And that I coudln't afford to share it to anyone na kasi I might have to explain everything pa, eh ayoko na ikwento! Waaahhh!

Malungkot ako, oo pero I was at the same time rejoicing kasi during those crying moments I am able to enjoy and savour being in the loving arms of my God, and all I want to do that moment was to rest and enjoy being in His presence ALONE!

I appreciate what my Mom said when I asked her if it's okay for me to just rest and spend time alone with God and be absent from work. She said "Good. Will be praying for you." I was like, alin ang good doon? Then she replied back "What ur doing... and what God is doing in ur life. Learn all u can." tpos may pahabol pa sya na "do what is best..."

At nakatulugan ko na nga...

Lesson learned?

Number one was-- I was hurting pero the hurt was not that painful, mahirap i-explain that it was not that heavy for my to carry kasi I had pour it out to the Lord. I did not became bitter towards it because I have felt HIS love for me... despite the "answered prayer". And I can only say HAAAYYYY right now.

The Lord indeed has wonderful plans for me. I may not know what those plans are NOW but I'm holding on to His promise.

After I woke up this morning there was no more burden. I feel relaxed kahit namumugto ang mga mata ko...

At maraming salamat na din sa mga taong nanalangin for me (Osie, Regie, Raya, Abe and Mama), sana wala akong nakalimutan sa inyo.

Ayun lang... HAAAYYYY...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE"
Jeremiah 29:11

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

An Item of Praise and Thanksgiving

This was part of my Supervisor's email to our Team... An item of praise and thanksgiving! To God be the glory!

Kudos to our CSAT QUEEN : SANBINI SABIO for having 100% CSAT for R3M !!! Great job, Rajsh! Keep it up!"

sent: 12/05/2007 04:39 AM

Chase Customer Care Supervisor
Prime Home Loan Servicing

CSAT or Customer Satisfaction Survey is done every week. The homeowners you have spoken with and assisted 2 weeks ago will be called by a third party (doing the survey) and will be asked how you've been as a Customer Care Professional; in terms of Attitude, Explanation, Confidence, Tone and Overall Satisfaction with service provided by you and your Company.

It's a weakness for me when I was just starting with Chase, because I was never conscious of how my CSAT Score (or even how I stand in my stats) was with my previous Call Center that I'm used of being on the average level lang. I was never the competitive type of Rep/Agent. Queber ko ba, that's how I view it. As long as I'm getting paid well, that was enough for me.... Until Chase Home Finance came in my life, it changed my outlook and perspective on my CSAT and my overall stats... Hmp!

I could have never done it on my own... aside from the people who I gather strength and encouragement from (mga pinakamamahal kong sila Sager at Mike) I owe it to God! "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

He taught me to just leave it up to Him, submit to His will, acknowledge His presence at work while taking calls, and nothing could go wrong. And it worked! amazingly it did, since September my score never went below 100%, I mean there are still tough times, and human as I am, I still fall into temptations of giving in with the anger triggered by an irate caller... But with His grace, survive naman! PTL!

And I can only say THANK You Lord for this CSAT. Even if I think I do not deserve it, I still am very grateful(sino ba namang hindi, hehe). Praise be to God indeed!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's been months now...

It happened (if I'm not mistaken) around July this year. It's not that too long ago, you can say that, but then if you were in their position it's been that long na...

I was on my way up to our apartment ("up" because we live at the 3rd floor) when out of the blue, I suddnely thought of this young man.

A 16 year old guy who went out to go to Mall of Asia to meet with "someone", a text-mate he had for -I'm not sure how long. According to the story that day was their eye-ball date. It wasn't confirmed that he was meeting with a girl or if it was a homosexual. The guy didn't even made paalam to his parents or even to his nakatatandang kapatid (who happens to be my friend and wave mate from office).

And until now he's nowhere to be found!

The family asked assistance from the Media (my office mate is a daugther of Ka Fredie Aguilar), they asked assistance from NBI, help from the people they know in Camp Crame and up to the point that they consulted a "manghuhula" out of desperation in looking for their lost child (or kapatid, in my friend's case). But until now -- NO RESULTS, WALANG BALITA!

I have been praying for this guy, I never met him. I never experienced such drama (couldn't think of another term eh) in my life. But I feel for my friend. I can still remember during the first week of her brother being gone, she was saying "bakit naman ganito si Lord?!" And I felt sad, that she has to say that. Hindi ko din alam yung reason kung bakit nangyari 'yon. At hindi ko din maintidihan kung bakit nya nasabi 'yon. I guess too emotional s'ya nuon...

Last night my friend and I met and the ladies wash room, greeted each other, and I couldn't stand it but ask her "musta na 'yung brother mo?" (it's been a while since we had this kind of talk kasi magkaiba kami ng group of friends and wala namang mga nag-uupdate sa amin about the status of the lost brother) . She said smiling "ayun wala pa rin sya." "that's sad" I said. "Pag papasok nga ako naiiyak-iyak ako eh, alam mo na, pasko na! Nakikita ko yung mga ilaw-ilaw dyan sa Ayala..." And I could only tell her "oo nga..." and I added "pinagpe-pray ko yun!" she said thanks, and then I left her na and went back to my work station. Little did I know that the simple "pangngamusta" had an impact on her. A few minutes later I received an email from her saying:

sent: 11/28/2007 02:55 AM

thanks for asking about my brother ha...

talking about him makes me feel "close" to him somehow...

tapos, knowing that other people think of him too, makes me feel great because i know that our strength all together would at least make him feel that we haven't "forgotten" him...

gosh, i miss my brother sooo much...

you put me in tears kanina pag alis mo sa cr kanina, pero i'm really thank ful you asked about him...



Nakakatuwa na nakakalungkot na hindi maintindihan... But I pray that sooner or later they will hear from their brother... Or kahit news man lang if he's still alive or what.


Thursday, November 22, 2007


I was browsing through my phtobucket album when I saw this picture. And it came to me-- "gosh, it's been 4 years na pala!".

I was nominated by a friend named Thaan way back in 2003 for the Search-- Gawad F. T. San Luis Namumukod Tanging Kabataan ng Laguna.

It's a 6 month process; leadership training, environment and community involvement, immersion or "pakikipamuhay", at walang katapusang reflection on things in life... Makulay ang buhay GAWAD! I mean, part of my growth as a person I owe to them.

At kaya naman, bigla ko silang namiss!

To my batchmates;

kuya Arjay-- busy mode sa Med School! pero infairness, nagpaparamdam pa din paminsan-minsan sa text. Hehe! wag ka, isa ako sa bikitima nya ng "who's this?" kasi ilang beses ng na-reformat ang cellphone! =)

ate Marj-- GAWAD Global in Houston Texas! Uuwi ka ba this Christmas? I miss you na, sobra! ang mga chikahan galore sa UPLB na ianaabot ng hating gabi... hehe! Mga letters and tears!

Mariah-- my soul sister! Who just got married last month... Walanjo ka, nag-iwan ka na kapatid! Ehehe... Wish you all the best! Be a good wife and a good mom ha?

Jaycz-- ewan ko kung bakit pero feeling ko talaga "loyalista" pa din ako! Wahaha! World peace sis! I love you and I miss you! Pag dumating yung time na lilipad ka na din papuntang states malulungkot ako... Pero GO lang, "para sa mga pangarap natin!" Hahaha! at eto pa "Don't worry I'm a Doctor, I'll take care of you!" Nyahahaha!

kuya Joel-- you still in LB? teaching? haaayyyy.... namimis ko na ang mga photo shoot natin together! mabuhay ang mga naka-manual na SLR! Hindi pa kasi uso nuon ang digital eh noh?

Rael-- kelan mo ba iiwan ang ICT? Nyehehehe... ayaw mo pa kasi sa akin sumama sa Chase! Pero masaya ako pag nakikita kita sa Rob-Galleria! Kahit sandali lang dahil lunch break mo yun!

Timo-- ikaw pa din ang wolverin ng buhay ko! Hmp, broken hearted at bitter ka nga lang... ramdam ko! You owe me your story! Hahaha!

Alyn-- sis, minsan naiisip ko na lang kinakausap mo ang sarili mo sa mga fwd text mo... Ehehe! pero okay lang yan! It's a process tlaga.

Gerjane-- my baby george! Graduate ka na ba? I hope and pray for your success! Miss na kita... I feel like you are so out of reach kahit minsan nakikita kita na naka-online sa ym. Hmmm...

ate Jewel-- congrats! I like you're baby! Mukhang korean na din! hehe! I am so happy that you're doing great there with kuya Chris! Kelan kayo uuwi dito? Paramdam ka lang ha?!

kuya Wilyam-- the best clown ever! Hindi ko na alam ang number mo! Anu na ba tlga? hehe...

kuya Rasty-- pampampam pa rin! Pero gayun pa man, subalit, datapwat... Mahal pa din kita! Yiaks!

And the rest of G-Force '03-- ano na? Ang tagal-tagal na nung planong re-union never naman natuloy... Hmp! hehe! Basta miss ko na kayo lahat! Miss ko na ang Laguna... Ang mga moments and all!

To my mentors in GAWAD;

ate Macris-- kamusta ang buhay coke? I'm praising God that you've managed to read His Word despite your schedule. At sorry talaga kung hindi ako maka-commit sa Screening Committee ha? Pero sana paglabas mo sa "bahay ni kuya" gimik uli tayo! tapos sleepl over ka nalng ulet sa akin! Mahal kita ate! Nabasa ko yung message mo sa akin nung December 12, 2004 (sana tama yung date ko! basta ganun petsa!) Yung memory nung Christmas Carol... hehe! naiyak ako ha!

ate Thaan-- teka, mas bata ka sa akin di ba? Hehe, eh kung hindi naman sa'yo wala ako sa GAWAD eh! Kelan kaya ulet kita makakasalubong sa CR ng Mcdo? Magkapit bahay din naman tayo sa Boni eh. Hope you're okay...

kuya Teruch-- kamusta na ang "orange" na iniaalok ni God sa'yo? Remeber that God will only give you "good dillema". At hindi pa natutuloy ang dinner date natin! Sino ba ang mauunang taya? Text-text.

kuya Henry-- pag pissed off ako, nalulungkot at naiiyak... Tatawagan pa din kita! Hehe, mga 3 mins lang... Hindi na tayo nagkikita, magkapit-bahay lang naman tayo sa Makati ah...

ate Laiden-- na kung hindi dahil sa GAWAD hindi kita makikilala at hindi ko din ma-e-experience ang fulfillment natin sa YAFE (queber kung tribute for Gawad 'to!). Hehe! Mga "nyum-nyum-nyum" moments, kilig moments galore at wala katapusang telebabad na maiikli na ang isa't kalahating oras. Hahaha! Kamusta po kay kuya Mark.

Joyvin-- mentor ba kita? Ehehe, oo mentor sa kakupalan! Hahaha, wala kang kupas at mahal kita... I'm so glad na nakita ko din yung growth mo. Kakatuwa ang huli nating serious kwentuhan (kahit nung June pa yun). Sana maulit muli ang movie trip, basta GAWAD kasama ko kahit baduy yung movie GO lang! Hehe... You still owe me the Joshua Harris book na hiniram mo kapatid!

kuya Jhun-- of course I consider you a "mentor"... I was browsing through the old post sa e-groups when I read a message I sent and may message ako for you. I know I have told you this, pero thank you! I may not be sure how will you react but my Dad and I are okay now... I remeber kasi ikaw ang iniiyakan ko nuon over him. Basta ayun na!

At sa iba ko pang ka-GAWAD... haaayyyy.... Nakakamiss po! Sana naman kahit once a week lang may makita ako sa inyo-- sa bus, sa mall, sa CR ng Mcdo, sa jeep... yung biglaan ba! Para surprise effect! Wala lang...


Wednesday, November 21, 2007


(I browsed through our e-groups' sa GAWAD F. T. Sanluis para hanapin 'tong post ko na 'to... nakakatuwa yung mga nabasa ko pang old posts from year 2003 up to present... hehe! at ayun n nga, pinost ko lang 'to dito kasi WALA po akong telepono! hndi naman sya nawala... nasa Samsung Service Center lang at pinapagawa ko! hehe! one of the valuable lesson learned 'to ng buhay ko! I posted this March 3,2007)

"-- as quoted by my gwapong supervisor...

I JUST LOST MY PHONE! yesterday morning on my way back home, it must have fell pagkababa ko ng bus sa boni...

masaklap pla tlga yung feeling!

this is actualy the first time na nawalan ako ng cellphone... nakakapanghinayang pero ayun nga tpos na eh!

i just feel weird kasi i don't feel so so bad & mad about it! & i don't know why... i guess i felt somewhat released & freed from something i have been too attached with... lately kasi i've been so stressed out over work (alam ng wave 20 yan! hehe! lhat kmi eh!) na tipong para ata winish ko na sana hndi muna ako maabala ng mga text messages at hndi muna ako makapang-abala sa pagfo-forward ko sa mga tao sa phone book ko, na hndi ko mapigilang gawin almost everyday nung nsa akin pa ang cellphone ko... kaya ayun, cguro nga sbi ni Lord "ok my dear, wish granted "...

magaan din yung feeling ko kasi i did my part. i went to samsung main office in greenhills to report what happened then from there they instructed me to go to NTC in diliman... partida na wala pa akong tulog from work! tpos naka-uwi nko ng mandaluyong 4pm na at pumasok ako ng 830pm, as our shif starts at 9pm. c'mon diba?! kmusta nman ang ka-ngaragan ko nun? hehe..

nweys, wla lang... gusto ko lng i-share yung ngyari para mejo mas gumaan pa ang pkiradam ko...

FAVOR LANG PO pls email or send me a msge in frendster kung ano po ang cellphone number nyo... unfortunately wla akong kopya ng lhat nga mga nsa phonebook ko! hndi ko din sure kung kaya ko pang mag-cellphone uli, i mean hndi ko alam kung kelan ako makaka-get over sa pagkawala nya (shet parang broken hearted lng! haha!) pero bahala na...

at sa mga suki kong pinapadalhan ng mga quotes... YOU WILL SURELY MISS ME! hardeharhar!

love you guys...

ps. salamat sa CHF wave 20! na mas nanghinayang pa sila at mga nag-alala sa pagkakawala ng cellphone ko... wla na daw magpapatugtog ng "to the left, to the left..." at "oo oohh, di mo lng alam ako'y 'yong nasakatan..."
haaayyyyy... at si mike na pinagalitan ako dhil sa nangyari! hehe...

un lng po! mwuahugs!


Eto yung lesson learned behind it, I was too attached to that Samsung d900 phone na tlgang kinuha sya sa akin ni God... Nakakahiya mang i-admit pero totoo pala yung "where your heart is, where your treasure is"... at hindi maganda na sobrang trineasure ko ang telepono ko. Whew! I took my a while to really learn the lesson why God allowed it to hapopen... at kung sakali man na makawala pa ulet ako ng telepono... Hmmm! yun na...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Answered Cry

This is merely a hang over from the answered cry and answered prayer...

I sent ate Leah Darwin an email about someone I have been praying for. Haha! nakakatawa at nakakatuwa how God answered my cry in less than 24hrs. Bukod kay Mich, at kay Mama, si ate Leah yung pinaka-matinding sagot (that God used) sa panalangin ko the night before... I was being impatient kasi eh, ayun sabi sa akin ni God "Just wait!"

I can't post the email I sent (kahit parang natutukso akong i-post) kasi it would just put me on the spot at baka hndi ko kayanin... Hahaha! kaya eto na lang!

Her (ate Leah) reply to my email and a poem she also sent me...

"Dear Rajsh,

What a beautiful story declaring the intimacy Jesus and His Spirit have with you!!! Our Father knows your heart so deeply and sees the deepest longings and yearnings there - He will only give you the best gift from His own heart! That's why it is the best wisest choice to wait upon Him - but while waiting, enjoy being a woman - so pretty, so delightful, so worthy of pursuit! Our Lord pursues us so well I pray you will feel His pursuit of you. I will send you a copy of the poem of Ruth Bell Graham - wife of Billy Graham - she wrote this when she was a single missionary woman waiting for her Groom to be. She didn't know it was Billy yet. This poem became my prayer as I waited for my David....Maybe I should have shared it with all of you at the retreat...but actually - you will find it on the front pages of my book!

Have fun relishing the goodness of God and enjoy His surprises!

Love in Jesus,
Ate Leah"

Ruth Bell Graham’s Poem

“Dear God,” I prayed, all unafraid (as girls won’t be)
“I do not want a handsome man
but let him be like Thee
I don’t need one big and strong, nor one so very tall,
Nor need he be so genius, or wealthy, Lord, at all.

But let his head be high, dear God,
and let his eyes be clear
His shoulders straight, whatever his state,
Whatever his earthly sphere.
And let his face have character, a ruggedness of soul,
And let his whole life show, dear God,
A singleness of goal.

And when he comes, as he will come,
With quiet eyes aglow,
I’ll understand that he’s the man
I prayed for long ago.

In His wonderful Name Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I hate him...

There's just too many things I wanted to write about, why in the world at eto pa? Heck, I don't know...

I just arrived at work when I opened my lotus notes and BOOM! Eto ang bumungad sa akin:

"Its been more than a pleasure working with you guys, wish me luck on my never ending search for the meaning of life!
I wish you all the best things in life as well. Adios! God Bless!"

sent: 11/06/2007 09:50 PM

I was like, "Whaaatttt???? True pala tlga yon? Akala ko joke lang... Huhuhu!" I hate him... I hate goodbyes...

Hindi ka man lang nagpaalam ng personal? You didn't even kiss me goodbye?! I hate you Jei... hmp! Pag nakita kita pakalat-kalat humanda ka tlga sa akin! You still owe me a breakfast date dude! Hahaha... Yun pala ang habol ko??

Anyways, sige na nga, It's been also a pleasure working with you. I had fun exchanging emails with you. You never knew it but you made me smile. Thank you for the simple things you did for me, especially when I asked you to come to 12th floor (even if your station is at the 31st floor) because I was crying and I needed a friend, someone I can make sumbong to and someone that could give me a hug. Salamat talaga ng marami kapatid! Thank you din sa pakikinig when I was spiritually high, na kahit na you rejected what I was talking about, you were still patient enough to hear it, kahit na napikon na ako syo. Hehe. You are in my prayers, you have always been (since that spiritual high emails). Hah! Kala mo ha..

So paano? See you when I see you... Maliit ang mundo! Ciao!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

holding on to God's promise

"but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

-Isaiah 40:31

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Last Song Syndrome

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust


I received a bad news early this morning. It was few hours pa after nung mag-sink in sa akin na bad news pa la yun! Hehe... I'm on Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) for the next 30 days due to the Quality Scores last month, I only got 83.33% when I'm supposed to have met the target goal of 85%.

It was okay for me kasi I know that I got too relaxed with my stats at hindi tlga ako yung tipo na masyadong conscious. But then, when my team mate (na na-PIP rin) told me na we would not qualify for monthly incentive... ayun na nga, shocks! I have a tuition fee na kailangang pondohan! I texted my mom, sabi ko sa kanya for sure the normal salary I'm getting will decrease and I might be short with my monthly budget!

But the Lord is really good! He started showing His goodness to me through Mama when she replied:

"That's the price of getting involved in ministry. That's the time din to see how God is able to provide for ALL your needs. Read Isaiah 43:1-11 He promised to be there kahit ano pa daanan mo."

And so Isaiah 43 says...

"1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.

6 I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'
and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth-

7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made."

8 Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
who have ears but are deaf.

9 All the nations gather together
and the peoples assemble.
Which of them foretold this
and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
so that others may hear and say, "It is true."

10 "You are my witnesses," declares the LORD,
"and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor will there be one after me.

11 I, even I, am the LORD,
and apart from me there is no savior."

And when I get home, I just prayed... and cried! I was doing my devotion when I received a call from P. Chris, to remind me of something, tapos ewan ko paano nya na-sense, but I think, it was God who gave him that sense or gut-feel, when he asked me "oh bakit parang malungkot ka?" I just told him I'm doing my devotion nga.

After the call from P. chris, I browsed through my notes, sa journal ko and I saw this line "Whatever you are going through right now, the Lord knows it!" a note from Pstr. Lito last friday during the Crossover Leader's Fellowship. And then it was followed by a passage from 1 Timothy 6:12:

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

My baby Mich asked me to pray for her last night, for her shift, at sa benta nya to be able to maintain her stats... The morning came and it ended up na hindi nya na-meet yung quota for number of sales. But then I am blessed by how she responded to it. I shared to her my bad news and also ask her to pray for me eto naman yung reply nya- "We are being tested tlaga...I'll pray that God will continue to bestow blessings upon u..."

Another manifestation from Mommy Bibeth, when she texted me- "..are you alright now? I'm praying for you, take care. Mwah!" without me even telling her about the bad news... It was after that text when I shared to her my burden.

And then I went to sleep na...

I'm am taking calls (sa office na 'to around 12am) when I felt the urge to check if I have a message in my phone, and yes there was! Eto yung pinaka-nagpaiyak tlga sa akin eh.. the message goes like this- "I dont know what's happening with you right now, don't know how all your work is going, but God brought you to my mind right now and I thought O'd pray for you. Lean on Christ always. Stay strong in the lord. You're in my prayers. -Mark". Nung una akala ko kung sino, medyo bago ko palang kasi syang na-isave sa phonebook ko, kaya nung mag-first-15min break ako I read the message again, at naiyak talga ako!

Haha, eto na naman... grabeng nakakatuwa bumawi si God sa akin through those people... I fell so blessed despite of that bad news, I mean ang bilis bumawi ni God kahit nalulungkot ako ngayon He brought people around me to make me feel na He knows nga what I'm going through... And so as the song goes, I will be STILL and know you are God...

I will fight the good fight to bring glory to His name. Amazing God talga Sya! (--,)

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Bunso prayed for Ate

It has been a joy for me to pray for people (well, most of them are people from the call center ministry), basta nakaramdaman ako ng urge to pray for someone, I'd approach him or her and pray for them... Common for our baby christians in gcf CONNECT at yung mga first time guests namin kailangan tlga ipag-pray ko sila before sila umuwi, hindi ako mapalagay eh. And ayun nga, I consider that a privilege and a blessing...

But then Sunday night, I went home and felt like I want to be prayed for! Hindi kasi ako tumayo during Pastoral Prayer eh, all along I thought magiging okay ako at the end of that day. Pero hindi pla, before I went home may isang bagay na nakapag-paiinis sa akin at medyo iniyakan ko... Hehe! Pero okay na yun ngayon!

Monday after noon, I was reading a book before going to sleep (because I have shift at 11pm)... Lumabas ako ng kwarto at pinuntahan si Bunso (Majar), I asked him to pray for me. I told him two of my major prayer concern:

1. I'm broken hearted over something from way back (not to long ago pero from way back last year) and that God is dealing with me so that I may deal with it.

2. My good dillema over someone, someone that I have been praying for. I need the affirmation of peace to be complete so that I may discern if this is really God's will or not.

So ayun, nakakatuwa si Bunso kasi medyo naglulugaw daw ang utak nya...At medyo nagulantang sya na bigla-bigla na lang akong nagpa-pa-pray, hehe! So ayun, he read me a passage before praying for me:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

-2 Peter 1:3-11

Actually, hindi ko na-absorb nung binasa nya sa akin kasi nga antok na antok na ako. So kinuha ko bible nya at binasa ko ulet... Hehe, sori hndi ko pa din na-absorb! It was just tinight that I am able to get what the passage, and what Majar is trying to tell me!

And I'm just so thankful that God used my bunsong kapatid... I'm just happy that I can count on him (Majar) to pray for me kapag mga ganung on-the-spot instances. Magiging Pastor yun eh! Joke lang... Love you bunso! (--,)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Your grace still amazes me

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end.
It overwhelms me, covers my sin.
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again.

Your grace still amazes me.
Your love is still a mystery.
Each day I fall on my knees
Because Your grace still amazes me.
Your grace still amazes me.

O patient Savior,
You make me whole.
You are the Author and
The Healer of my soul.
What can I give You?
Lord, what can I say?
I know there's no way to repay You.
Only to offer You my praise.

Your grace still amazes me.
Your love is still a mystery.
Each day I fall on my knees
Because Your grace still amazes me.
Your grace still amazes me.

It’s deeper,
It’s wider,
It’s stronger,
It’s higher.

It’s deeper (it’s deeper),
It’s wider (it’s wider),
It’s stronger (it’s stronger),
It’s higher (it’s higher)
Than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Because Your grace still amazes me.
Your grace still amazes me.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Broken hearted...

I was talking to two of guy friends earlier when I shared to them that "I'm broken hearted..." Ang hirit nung isa "binasted ka?!" Hahaha! loko yun eh, pero sabi ko nga- it's not like I'm broken hearted over a guy or over "love life" ek-ek. Mahirap lang tlaga para sa akin to share it to people because I'm still hurting. Sabi ko pa sa dalawa- " doesn't involve a guy pero it invloves some one I love... some one close to me..." tpos tinawana uli nila ako! "so it's a girl?! Naku Rajsh, mahirap yan..." Hahaha ulet! Ang kukulet ng mga mokong! Pero ayun nga, mahirap pa syang i-explain...

It actually happened, I think December of last year (kelan ba nag-showing yung Happy Feet, yun kasi yung naaalala ko. Hehe!)When I learned about the "thing" which really broke my heart into pieces. Parang nagunaw ang mundo ko at nasisi ko ang ibang tao, including myself, because of what I have learned. It hurt me so much kasi mahal ko yung taong involve at hindi ko talaga alam how to deal with it. I thought I was able to ran away from it nung nakalimutan ko na lang sya. Pero hindi pala tlga, sabi ko nga God is dealing with me so I have to deal with it.

It was last week when a person was used by God to remind me of that "thing", it was like I heard God calling my attention- "Hey Rajsh, it's time... time to deal with it... time to forgive!" At waaaahhhhh! Naiyak talaga ako, bigla akong nalungkot at parang naging emotionally distracted for a few days, pero GO lang!

I remember I asked God for cleansing, for continiously cleansing my heart. And I can say that this is part of it! I have to forgive myself so I can forgive the person involve. I have been praying for the past few days for wisdom and guidance. Gusto ko syang i-share sa isang kristyanong friend kasi I need help, hindi ko kayang dalhin ng mag-isa ang burden na ito.

Naalala ko din na I have shared this to two people... Uhm, make it three pala! Haha, pero mga non-christian friends yun eh! And I dont'think it woudl be right to consult to thie opinion once again. I mean, it's not like hindi magand or mali yung mga advices nila sa akin, just so happen that this time I really would love a christian friend's point of view.

I have been praying for at least one or two person that I can share this to... This really burdens me...

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
-Galatians 6:2

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Doing what is right

... to glorify God!

It happened yesterday evening, when Majar and I went to 7/11 get something to eat:

Myself: miss, ano bang sizes ng mga drinks nyo?
Cashier: Regular, Meduim and Large po
Myself: Oh sige, yun na lang meduim. Magkano yun?
Cashier: 18 pesos po... 16oz po yun.

(I gave her my payment and then went to a table)

Myself: Majar, ikaw na nga kumuha nung drinks, Meduim ha.

(He went off and get the drinks for me)
(It was few minutes after I zipped my iced tea when I realized that it was 22oz that Majar brought me, nagtaka ako bakit 22oz kinuha nya so I asked...)

Myself: bkit eto kinuha mo? Large ata 'to eh, 16oz daw yung meduim diba?
Majar: eh yun lang ang nakalagay eh, regular tpos yan... hati na lang tayo.

(inom pa din ako... at napapaisip for a while what to do... and then I ended up approaching the cashier back)

Myself: Miss, for how much yung 22oz na drink?
Cashier: 23 pesos po.
Myself: dagdagan ko na lang, 22oz kasi yung nakuha eh...

Lesson of the story?

Well, doing what is right is giving honor and glory to God! It was not merely for me to feel na "mabait ako" and stuff like that, but rather more of a feeling na "God can see me, even if people (or the cashier for instance) is not aware of what happened..." and I could have gotten away from it easily kasi "petty thing" lang naman sya. But I remebered, there's no such thing as "petty sin", a sin is a sin! Walang category kung gaano ka-liit or gaano ka-laki. It's just amazing kasi I'm now able to do it.. I mean being honest, before I just go away with it lang. Ang misconception ko kasi nuon kay God is; He has this monitor over the world and He's watching over us at namimis-out nya yungb mga small details na kagaya nito. Akala ko dati malayo sya... yung ganun effect? Hehe...

One of the things God used to remind me of Him being OMNIPRESENT was the illustration of Martin Luther (the monk, as shared by P. Jon nung Monday) he was asked how do we live for God, and he answered "Live as though God's Face is near you,He sees everything that you do..." something like that! I forgot the 2-greek word of how he said it exactly pero ganun yung thought. At ayun na nga, sobrang God gave me the urge and the burden to act upon it, TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT and Honor and Glorify His name...

And I'm so proud of it! I'm so proud that it's not me, it's God, the one who continues to work in my life... I may fall short and sin pero andyan lagi Sya to make alalay and to forgive me on my mistakes...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Spiritually High...

Yes I am! I have never been this close to God, never in my life I have been this "hyper-for-Christ"... And i am happy about it! I'm just so glad that God is teaching me, everyday to become more like Him.

For the past few months, as I have recalled, ewan ko ba... Ang galing kumilos ni God sa buhay ko! It started when I moved from SITEL to JP Morgan Chase. Para sa akin yun tlga yung turning point ko! I felt God speaking to me during my training days, that was in Febuary, nung maaksidente si Raya, tapos nakunan si Paz, tapos nagka-galit kami ni Mira, tpos nawala yung d900 ko... Haaayyy, sunod-sunod kaya yun! But I can really say that God prepared me, that's why He let me experience those things. I have felt He was really speaking to me nung mga panahong yon, i learned how to put my trust on Him, to focus on Him alone, I learened the value of "where your treasure is, where your heart is" and to worship Him even in taking calls at work! Mga ganung bagay... At kaya ayun nga, I turned out to be like what I am right now.

I praise God for the manifestations that I AM CHANGED! Mich, an old friend from ICT saw how God changed me, how He changed my heart. Sherwin, an old friend from ICT as well, keeps on thanking me for being so mabait to him and I just keep on reminding him that it's not me, it's God who's working in my life and to his... At maraming pang tao ang nakaka-pansin ng pagbabago sa buhay ko!

I was also surprised na hndi na ako nag-mumura sa mga customers ko... Grabe naiiyak ako sa sobrang tuwa! It has been my prayers since I was 17yrs old na tanggalin sa akin ni God yung bad-words pero ayun at talaga pa lang proseso sya at it took some time! Before I knew it God changed my heart. I have learned to forgive myself and to forgive my dad and mom and Mira too! I'm just overwhelmed to see how the works of His hands are moving in my life... An how it is affecting other people's lives too!

I have become a World-Class Christian, sobrang up-beat yung feeling ko over doing my part in the "Great Commission". And I am now taking the lead in our Call center Ministry at GCF, isa pa sa mga isang bagay na hindi ko naisip na magagawa ko.

I remember way back when I was still with Sitel, ginusto ko ng umalis sa Call Center industry at ma-missionary na lang... Pero God told me to stay, kasi nga eto ang mission field ko! Wow! Nkaka-amaze at nakaka-takot pero excited ako! Yung prayer ko nga kay God nung birthday ko was - "Here I am Lord, send me! I wan you to use me for your ministry!" And I can feel that God is answering my prayers...

I have grown so much inlove with Christ and His people. Mas naging concern ako ngayon sa mga tao around me na hindi pa nakakakilala... Mahirap sya at minsan talaga it gets so frustrating pero ayun nga, excited ako! Soibrang God is teaching me to be patient and trust His timing... Sobrang pinag-pe-pray ko din na He continue to cleanse my heart baka kasi hindi ko namamalayan inaagaw ko na sa Kanya yung credit and glory i'm not worthy of.

So basta, I'm spiritually high right now... Contagious nga daw ako kasi sobrang taas ng energy ko! And I praise God for it... And give all the glory back to him, and to Him alone!

Friday, September 14, 2007

'was pissed off

>>>09/13/2007 07:32 AM

Hi ms. gel,

I'm sorry if I'm going to be emotional about it.

my record would proof that I'm a "suki" in escalating calls, there's few reason why, aht wise, to save time of our customer, if the answer provided (ccp level) would be just the same or if i can de-escalate the call at all, i will not ask for an escalation.

but it has gotten into my head that there's few CAP's around that would really make me feel "utang na loob" ko sa kanila yung escalationl. one reason pa yun bkit ayoko magpa-escalate, I'm even risking the info I'm giving and my csat and my quality because i hate the feeling, it's like IN YOUR FACE na pananabla and it really is making me feel so bad about my self. ilang beses ko na po kasing naransan 'to at pinalampas ko lang pero i can't contain it anymore. I have nothing against that person but then there's a part of me that's been hurt, not once but a couple of times.

I just want to be heard. I don't want to sound too self-righteous and self-focused about it pero sana maramadaman ko sa kanila that they perform according to their job description and that they would love their job! it would take a lot of maturity and selflessness para ma-accomplish yun pero i know that it's possible kasi pare-pareho lang naman tyong nagtatrabaho dito.

pasensya na po tlga if i have to consume lots of aux 2 today. pinapaiyak ako nung feeling eh. thanks po!

>>>09/14/2007 12:14 AM

hi rajsh,

im not aware about it and thank you for bringing this into my attention. don't be sorry, im sure there's nothing that we cannot resolve or talk about. i'll have you in aux 4 later so we could discuss this fully. my advise right now is dont let this kind of things affect you or your performance.. if you have any questions, feel free to approach me... wag ka ng magisip

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Never been this happy!

And I can't contain it! It just overflows... And yeah just like what my blog says I'm "overwhelmed"!

Why is that? The things is, there's just so many reasons why... I don't even know where to start!

Well sige na nga, I'll share some things na papasok sa utak ko:
-I'm very happy to be making impact to my family, esp yo majar and raya! I feel so bless to become a blessing for them! Earlier I had a pep talk with majar I told him about the "wake up call" that if we really love our family we have to ensure they'll be with us in heaven when we die... sabi nya sa akin "na-pressure naman ako sa sinabi mo!". At medyo natigilan din ako, hehe! Parang, "oo nga noh, that's a lot of work to do!" pero bumawi ako at sabi ko kay bunso "..ganun tlga, for the lov of God and His people!"

-Another one would be my good dilemma, haha! After God revealed to me that the guy I have prayed for since March was not "the one", eto na may new guy next in line! Hahaha! Wala lang, nakakatuwa lang, I have never told anyone who he is kasi ayokong tuksuhin ako at ayokong kiligin ako over it! Baka kasi ma-sobrahan at hindi ko na ma-discern ng maayos ang will ni Lord, so ayun I leave it up to Him. All I'm praying for is that if it's His will so be it. And yeah, it really is a good dilema kasi may mga manifestation na pinapakita si God sa akin galing dito sa new guy na 'to! At nakakatuwa!

-I feel so privileged and so very happy to be a blessing to the people in the call center ministry, ayun! Last Sunday I have prayed for Claire after our Theology 1 class, I never thought that it would be that powerful! She told us that the devil was there and when i said the prayer "...would you cover her with your blood Father, and in Jesus name, Satan leave this girl alone!" the devil flew! And I praise God for using me, it was an amazing experience that really left me in awe. As is grabe! I praise God that Claire was relieved! And I'm still praying for her.

-My Tuesday was awesome! I was invited by my boss, Barry Marshall, who happens to be an elder in Union Church of Manila, to attend the worship for young-adults because it was P. Ro that's preaching. And we surprised him (p.Ro) kasi it was when we were few blocks away from UCM when I called him to say that we're going to see him preach. Hehe, also nice to see GCF's band play and lead the praise and worship, andun sila Buds, tpos si P. Euge andun din! At nakaka-tuwa na nakasama ko din sila Darwin and Louie.

And so there... those are just few things! At marami pang mga bagay... I told mama about these things sabi nya "write about it so that more people can rejoice with you?" So here I am... REJOICE WITH ME!

Thursday, September 6, 2007


Account of things learned and realized:
(in no particular order, hehe)

1. There's this guy I have been praying for since March... God is somewhat revealing to me, he's not the one! And I'm okay about it. I can see it too, he's a boyfriend material but it's very obvious that he's not a husband material.Hehe! weird things is, I have been praying for for months and when I realized what i just realized I'm not disappointed.

2. I'm a year older and I've never been happy!

3. I once asked God for a christian-accountable-partner friend to come in my life, and then He gave me- Osie. Ye hey!

4. I was so happy to see Papa on my birthday, he prayed for me and up to now I'm crying with so much gladness kapag naaalala at napapanood ko yung video.

5. This will be another exciting year of my life, that I'm very sure of!

6. I'm making strong impact on Raya's life (that's according to mama) at oo nga, mukha nga.

7. I asked mama to pray for sager, jv and shanwar on June 26, her text message goes like: "ready for God's work? 'Consecrate yourselves, for the Lord will do amazing things among you.' Let us claim this as we cross our Jordan. Been praying for sager, jv and shanwar." text message as of 062607/6:58 am, si shanwar na lang hindi nagiging christain! & I will claim victory over it na, ngayon plng!

8. I'm moving people's lives daw (according to sager)

9. I inspired her to become a better person (according to divine)

10. I love my job because i don't consider it as just plain source of income, but rather a ministry, a mission field.

11. I see people now as prospects to be won over from this fallen world to Christ Jesus my Lord and saviour!

12. "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
-Colossians 3:12-14

13. I'm holding accountable for lots of people and I'm happy about it!

14. It's a blessing to become a blessing to others!

15. I feel more privilege now to pray for someone.

16. Please Be Patient God Is Not Finish With Me Yet.

17. I'm taking the lead in Connect, my prayer right now is for me not to rob God the glory and credit.

18. Why am I getting distracted over a man when i see him? & why did i magnify this small details about him? Waaaahhhh! this can't be! hahaha!

19. God changed me to become the better person He wants me to be.

20. My accent improved, it's more neutralized! yeah, the Americans can't even recognize where I'm from. hehe!

21. Tinawag akong "pastora" ni p. Euge! loko yun eh...

Friday, August 31, 2007

Baguio trip photos

***I still have my hang-over from my birthday celebration in Baguio kaya patikim muna etong mga pictures! saka na ang kwento... hehehe! =)

Thursday, August 30, 2007

for the record

***God humbled me! and i praise HIM for that! i'm over flowing with so much gladness in my heart... let me share this email conversation i had with a guy whom i hold accountable for (kasi he told me he's intrested in joining gcf) more than one month kaming hndi nag-usap for NO specific reason! pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, GOD moves in miraculous ways... ways beyond my comprehension!

>>> Sanbini R Sabio/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 05:16 AM

"Hi ****war, musta?

I just wanted to share this to you. I don't know how or when will you guys experience the joy and peace I'm experiencing right now, but then I know for sure that is God is at work not just in my life but in your life/lives as well! His time table is way beyond from ours, trust His timing lang!

And also, medyo awkward 'to pero i want you to know that you are in my prayers, both of you ni Sweden. Take good care of her, you're a blessing for her!

Yun lang. May the Lord keep you and bless you always!

(grabe, nakakaiyak 'to...)


You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

"Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor ofSaddleback Church in California .

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God
wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.  I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.  We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.  Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.  God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.  We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life.   The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.  I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.  Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.  And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,"which is
my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.  It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.  Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.  It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.   I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor , care for the sick, and
educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to
serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?  Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, "God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You
better." God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.  That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

>>> **** S Ubalde/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 03:12 AM

ei Rajsh

first of all happy birthday , i hope you had a great time in baguio?!

i really appreciate this email you sent me, it's true we can either find purpose or succumb to the trials that come into our lives.

i still keep in touch God, actually i do my best to offer everything i do to him, like what i learned from you.

it's good to hear na you're doin ok, and thank you for including me in your prayers. You've always been in mine :)

>>> Sanbini R Sabio/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 03:19 AM

I'm very happy right now... kung meron pang words beyond OVERWHELMED & OVERJOYED yun na yung stage where I am at!

I'm so glad to hear that from you... praise GoD

Minsan sama kayo sa akin ni sweden sa call ceneter ministry, every monday na kami nag-me-meet at grabe, ibang klase mag-work si God sa mga buhay ng call center agents namin dun! and I would be so happy for you guys to experience the blessing.

Kasama ko lagi si sager dun... pti na din si jha!

>>> **** S Ubalde/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 03:31 AM

talaga? kasam mo si jha! sige yayain ko si sweden :)

>>> Sanbini R Sabio/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 03:37 AM

wow! great, next monday!

7am kami nag-memeet sa gcf, text mo ko! magagaling mga speaker namin!

>>> ***** S Ubalde/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 03:42 AM

aigh!t ill let you know pag pede kasi we're usually in QC pag-monday :)

>>> Sanbini R Sabio/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 03:44 AM

surely! =)

12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

-Colossians 3:12-14

pinapaiyak ako ng vers na yan ngayon. salamat bro! thank God! ayun na nga, grabe! umiiyak tlga ako! i told one of my closest friends at work about it (she knows how shanwar and myself suddenly made deadmahan to each other) and here's what she said:

>>> Ma Cecilia Sager/JPMCHASE
08/28/2007 08:28 AM

hay...true...praise God,,,He humbled you..i understand naman na we're but humans and really it would take time and courage for you to do that...di ba sarap feeling if your're free from any grudge...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

baguio here we come!

isang tulog na lang nasa Baguio city na ako! i'll be travelling with my closest friends from work-- mike, sager and divine. finally, after few months of waiting! eto na... hehehe! a birthday trip and celebration and para madalaw ko din ang parents ko. they're up there eh!

haaayyy... i just hope and pray that God will continue to protect us from any harm. kasi naman may nagbabadya pa atang bagyo. sana lang hni ganon ka-delikado for our travel.

as for tonight, i'll have my 2nd birthday treat... this time for iyacies! kasi nung monday call center ministry ang pinakain ko nga breakfast... bale 3 times ako manlilibre kasi yung rent ng house namin sa baguio ako may sagot! wohoo! i'm feeling generous lately eh... kakaiba nga yung pakiramdam! okay naman, masaya... thank God at may blessings ako na nai-share!

i'm so excited for my birthday... and for the coming days! wohoo! (--,)

**above photo, isa sa mga pupuntahan namin, tamawan village

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

prayer items for the family

* for Papa, discernment on God's plan for his life, to completely surrender it all to HIM, and to become more like HIM.

* for Mama, strength as she struggle with Papa's spiritual battle, more patience and wisdom in discernment of God's will for her life and for the family.

* for Kuya and Mira, to learn how to make God the center and focus of their relationship, be patient and be strong for one another and to build up a family that looks up to God, good health as they provide for their family's needs, to be good parents for Diwa.

* for Diko, ICT-GMAC career, to have that heart in seeking God's kingdom and righteousness.

* for Raya, a heart that is always ready to learn, to rely on you more and more, spiritual strength, struggle with non-believing friends, her back-thigh-muscles pain.

* for Strong, to seek God's kingdom, to have the heart to go back to school and finish his studies, spiritual growth as he involve himself to the ministry in gcf, to learn how to honor god with his body.

* for Vishnu, use us (raya, majar and myself) to introduce him to your kingdom, teach us all to show him how he is loved and that he is part of the family, for his studies as he will enter college next year.

* for Majar, preparation for 2nd semester, God's provision for the funds to use for his enrollment, spiritual growth, and his involvement in the youth ministry.

* for Aque, to know god through us, and to be a good mom to Iyah and Nonyi

* for the kids (Iyah, Nonyi and Diwa) to be a child of God with guidance coming from us!

* and for myself, to be used by God in (somehow) leading and pointing the family to Christ for that "better life" I have longed for...

Friday, August 17, 2007

I'm turning 23!

August 25, Saturday will be my birthday! and my gosh, i'm turning 23! and i can not believe it... until now i feel like i'm 21, i kind of feel like na-stuck ako sa age na yun! that sometimes when people would ask me "how old are you?" i would have to stop and think before i give my answer "uhm... i'm 22!" haha! silly of me... i really don't know why pero it always happen!

but now that my "new year" is getting near... i feel like age is just numbers! but i praise God and thank him because HE indeed changed me... HE changed my heart... and it was all for goodness sake! i'm at this point where a am so overwhelmed and overjoyed because i have grown more closer to Him. and i am just so excited for the coming days of my life... of my journey!

on the lighter (and mushy side) nakakatouch na nakakahiya na ipinost ni p.jon sa iyacies blog yung birthday ko... hehe! the picture above you may visit at double celebration nga naman kasi our brother Amos Lim will fly back to his home country Malaysia next week. at ayun na nga, naka-announce na din na magpapakain ako! haha! so wala na akong kawala nito...

haaayyy... wala lang! i'm just so happy right now! and i give back all the glory to GOD!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

what a wednesday! i just can't wait for thursday...

i got off from work the normal 9am logout time. but surprise-surprise came when i got out of our building... IT WAS RAINING SO HARD! i can hear na yung kulog at kidlat an hour earlier but i never thought that it was that heavy pala. pero good thing i have my payong with me naman... so ayun! expected ko na yung travel time ko from ayala to boni would be really long. another surprise-surpirse came to my face when i got to rob-pioneer; shocks, walang jeep na bumabyahe! kasi daw lubog sa baha ang circle (near city hall of mandaluyong) eh doon lang naman ang route ng mga byahe so kamusta naman di ba? tumambay muna ako for a few minutes kasi i didn't want to be annoyed by it. afterwards i thought of walking accross edsa (thru MRT, para makatawid) then dun ako sa kabilang jeep station nagbaka-sakali... well, what do i expect? haha! ayun wala ring bumabyahe. nagtanong yung barker ng tricycle kung san daw ako, sabi ko sa may sikap sa katarungan street ang sabo ba naman sa akin-- "naku baha yun! yun yung lubog, malabo pumayag mga tricycle nyan!" hell i care! sa loob-loob ko... hahaha! (in fairness, hndi pa din ako naiinis sa mga oras na ito) so cge, wait pa ako... it took after an hour ata before a jeep with a sign board SIKAP came... so ayun mega nakipagsiksikan ako sa mga tao para maka-sakay... wohoo! finally makakauwi na ako! gusto ko yung isigaw... but wait, when i thought surprises are over... hindi pala! kasi naman, since hanggang SIKAP nga lang yung jeep dahil andun yung lubog area, at akala ko ay carry ng powers ko na lusungin na (thinking it wasn't that malalim pero ayun maling akala strike 4 ako! haha) so what i did was i called majar... i asked him to get a pedicab at sunduin ako. it took another 30mins before sya nakarating... baha dun sa may kanto namin na abangan ng jeep eh!

sa sobrang kainiipan ko nakuha ko pang-ivedoe ang ilang pangyayari (i'll post the video in at haayyy... after 30yrs ayun na nga! pass 12nonn na ako nakarating sa aking apartmen... my gosh! was so tired and was so sleepy and was so hungry... pagdating ko pa sunog yung sinaing ni raya! naku naman oh...

kaya ayun I CAN'T WAIT FOR THURSDAY!! PARA OFF KO NA... i will surely treasure and cherich my last thurs off, dahil next week 8/5 na ulet ako!

tpos may this afternoon meeting kami sa callcenter ministry and then in the evening will have iyacies bible study... haaayyy i just can't wait for my thursday!

my statement of faith

***i adopted this from***

1. There is one true God, eternally existing in three Persons--the Father, Son and Holy Spirit--each of whom possesses equally all the attributes of Deity and the characteristics of personality.

2. Jesus Christ is God, the living Word, who became flesh through His miraculous conception by the Holy Spirit and His virgin birth. Hence, He is perfect Deity and true humanity united in one person forever.

3. He lived a sinless life and voluntarily atoned for our sins by dying on the cross as our substitute, thus satisfying divine justice and accomplishing salvation for all who trust in Him alone.

4. He rose from the dead in the same body, though glorified, in which He had lived and died.

5. He ascended bodily into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God the Father, where He, the only mediator between God and humanity, continually makes intercession for His own.

6. We were originally created in the image of God. We sinned by disobeying God; thus, we were alienated from our Creator. That historic fall brought all men and women under divine condemnation.

7. Our nature is corrupted, and we are thus totally unable to please God. Every person is in need of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

8. Our salvation is wholly a work of God's free grace and is not the work, in whole or in part, of human works or goodness or religious ceremony. God imputes His righteousness to those who put their faith in Christ alone for their salvation, and thereby justifies them in His sight.

9. It is the privilege of all who are born again of the Spirit to be assured of their salvation from the very moment in which they trust Christ as their Saviour. This assurance is not based upon any kind of human merit, but is produced by the witness of the Holy Spirit, who confirms in the believer the testimony of God in His written Word.

10. The Holy Spirit has come into the world to reveal and glorify Christ and to apply the saving work of Christ to all men and women. He convicts and draws sinners to Christ, imparts new life to them, continually indwells them from the moment of spiritual birth and seals them until the day of redemption. His fullness, power and control are appropriated in the believer's life by faith.

11. We as believers, are called to live in the power of the indwelling Spirit so that we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh but will bear fruit to the glory of God.

12. Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church, His Body, which is composed of all men and women, living and dead, who have been joined to Him through saving faith.

13. God admonishes His people to assemble together regularly for worship, for participation in ordinances, for edification through the Scriptures and for mutual encouragement.

14. At physical death believers enter immediately into eternal conscious fellowship with the Lord, and await the resurrection of their body to everlasting glory and blessing.

15. At physical death unbelievers enter immediately into eternal conscious separation from the Lord and await the resurrection of their body to everlasting judgement and condemnation.

16. Jesus Christ will come again to the earth--personally, visibly and bodily--to consummate history and the eternal plan of God.

17. The Lord Jesus Christ commanded all believers to proclaim the gospel throughout the world and to disciple men and women of every nation. The fulfilment of that Great Commission requires that all worldly and personal ambitions be subordinated to a total commitment to "Him who loved us and gave Himself for us.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

my family!

exluding Kris (our am-boy cousin) this is my family... and when i say "my family" ibig sabihin lang nun kasama ko sa bahay... hehe! we have a big family because we are composed of 7 sibblings... it's just the three of us (myself, raya and majar) who share the apartment...

it's has been 3months since we moved in separately and lived an independent life (naks!) i feel so proud and blessed to have them with me in one roof... we are able to grow more mature together and it's just so amazing how God worked in our life... or may i say, in our lives!

i can still remeber when i was younger (like mga 6 or 7yrs ago) i used to pray and asked God for "better life". yun kasi yung mga panahong wala kaming kinakain, napupultulan kami ng ilaw, napapalayas sa inuupahang bahay, at medyo nahihiya sa mga unpaid debts ng mga magulang namin... all along i thought that "money" and food to eat everyday will be the answer to my prayer... pero hndi pala! that's why God allows the same experience to happen over and over again, kasi nga He knows better! it was just recently that i realized that the "better life" pala is growing close to Him. and that's where we are right now (kaming tatlo!) and i've been pryaing na sana yung iba ko pang mga kapatid... makita rin nila how wonderful it is to be close to God and become more like Him each and everyday... it was just recently that i realized that all i needed to do in the first place was to put my trust in Him and seek his kingdom and his righteousness first... at ayun na nga!

amazingly... i can see that little by little God has been answering my prayers for that "better life" i have longed for long ago...

and i am just left in AWE! praise God for the might works of His hands!

myself, kris, raya and majar

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

one week to go!

this would be my final week on a 10/4 schedule! yehey! wohoo! after more than 3mos of suffering from pain... naks! OA! ayun finally, by next week i'll be on a regular 8/5 schedule. my shif will start from 11:30PM and will end by 8:30AM (manila time). with Saturday-Sunday off.

it has been such a challenge to work on a 10/4 schedule... i never thought I'll survive from it! but praise God because I've learned a lot from the experience and it was one of the reasons why i became active in attending a growth group in GCF (iyacies, every Thurs 7pm). it was indeed a blessing in disguise.

for sure i will be missing this schedule... pero for sure mas relaxed ako sa regular 8hrs of taking calls! and good thing that my prayer to get a mid-shift was answered as well para maka-attend pa din ako sa iyacies...

ayun lang! haayyy... queueing kami ngayon! there are 35 calls waiting... at naka-break ako... wohoo! nakakapagod!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Emergency room 2007

It was midnight of my friday shify when i started feeling a pain (some sort of lingering sensation) in my chest... i tried to ignore it & do the "mind over matter" thing. tried to make my self busy with my calls but then, when i took my 1st 15mins break for i could no longer bear it! i asked permission from one of the CAP on the floor that i will go to the clinic at the 27th floor... And I was crying na! haaayyy... I was in panic mode that very moment!

The doctor gave me kremil-s (i forgot what for) then afterwards gave me pain killer. which kind of relieved the pain (as in a bit lang) tpos when she asked me to do the inhale-exhale while she put the stetoscope in my back, she said -- " nagshashallow breathing ka, may kasamang panic..." at syempre, lalao akong nag-panic at naiyak kasi she knows how i feel at ayun nga, hindi tlga nakakatulong ang pag-iyak pag ganung mga instances. around 1am when we decided that i should see the doctor in makati med for further tests kung ano ba tlga yung cause ng pain. ubos na pati yung oxygen sa clinic which could have somewhat helped me pa!

when i got to the ER, darn ang wired tlga ng feeling sa ospital, tpos dun ako sa side wherein the complaints are somewhat "heart" related. the doctor asked me few questions like, how painful the pain is? nagbubuhat ba ako or nag-gygym? when was the last time i had my menstration? am i sure daw ba that it is menstration, na baka daw bunti ako? at this point medyo napikon na ako sa doctor na yun eh! jierra ang lolo mo! hndi ko maintindihan kung harsh lang ba tlga sya or nangche-check it out lang! gusto kong sabihing "bkit gusto mo bang ihampas ko pa sa yo suot-suot kong sanitary napkin para lang maniwala ka na i have my period?" how dare him...


mga more than 1hrs lang cguro ako dun sa ER... the doctor asked the med tech for me to have ECG & thank God it wasn't any hear complications, and good thing that the pain subside when the doctor injected a very strong pain killer...

i got home around 4am, sobrang nahihilo ako! at nanghihina... i just slept until i woke up around noon. i texted my pastors (p.Mau & p.Jon) and asked them to pray for me because i couldn't relax... i was crying not due to any pain pero sobrang nagwoworry ako at naiinis sa sarili ko why it had happened.

there was no one to blame but myself! sobrang kapabayaan sa sarili-- lack of sleep, lack of activities (or excersise in other words) at waaaahhh siguro nga unhealthy ang diet ko!

haaayyy so ayun... emergency room 2007!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

office mode

Today is my 2nd day being back at work after my long vacation last week...

So far, my day is going smooth. and I pray that it will be just the same until I logoff at 9am...

haaayyy... (--,)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

new blog site for me!


sometimes i just feel like writing things, writing thoughts...
so i created a blog, i mean, a new blog for me to make use of since i can access this site from work.