It's been months now...

It happened (if I'm not mistaken) around July this year. It's not that too long ago, you can say that, but then if you were in their position it's been that long na...

I was on my way up to our apartment ("up" because we live at the 3rd floor) when out of the blue, I suddnely thought of this young man.

A 16 year old guy who went out to go to Mall of Asia to meet with "someone", a text-mate he had for -I'm not sure how long. According to the story that day was their eye-ball date. It wasn't confirmed that he was meeting with a girl or if it was a homosexual. The guy didn't even made paalam to his parents or even to his nakatatandang kapatid (who happens to be my friend and wave mate from office).

And until now he's nowhere to be found!

The family asked assistance from the Media (my office mate is a daugther of Ka Fredie Aguilar), they asked assistance from NBI, help from the people they know in Camp Crame and up to the point that they consulted a "manghuhula" out of desperation in looking for their lost child (or kapatid, in my friend's case). But until now -- NO RESULTS, WALANG BALITA!

I have been praying for this guy, I never met him. I never experienced such drama (couldn't think of another term eh) in my life. But I feel for my friend. I can still remember during the first week of her brother being gone, she was saying "bakit naman ganito si Lord?!" And I felt sad, that she has to say that. Hindi ko din alam yung reason kung bakit nangyari 'yon. At hindi ko din maintidihan kung bakit nya nasabi 'yon. I guess too emotional s'ya nuon...

Last night my friend and I met and the ladies wash room, greeted each other, and I couldn't stand it but ask her "musta na 'yung brother mo?" (it's been a while since we had this kind of talk kasi magkaiba kami ng group of friends and wala namang mga nag-uupdate sa amin about the status of the lost brother) . She said smiling "ayun wala pa rin sya." "that's sad" I said. "Pag papasok nga ako naiiyak-iyak ako eh, alam mo na, pasko na! Nakikita ko yung mga ilaw-ilaw dyan sa Ayala..." And I could only tell her "oo nga..." and I added "pinagpe-pray ko yun!" she said thanks, and then I left her na and went back to my work station. Little did I know that the simple "pangngamusta" had an impact on her. A few minutes later I received an email from her saying:

sent: 11/28/2007 02:55 AM

thanks for asking about my brother ha...

talking about him makes me feel "close" to him somehow...

tapos, knowing that other people think of him too, makes me feel great because i know that our strength all together would at least make him feel that we haven't "forgotten" him...

gosh, i miss my brother sooo much...

you put me in tears kanina pag alis mo sa cr kanina, pero i'm really thank ful you asked about him...

:)

mwaaahhh!!!!

Nakakatuwa na nakakalungkot na hindi maintindihan... But I pray that sooner or later they will hear from their brother... Or kahit news man lang if he's still alive or what.

Haayyyy!

Namumukod-Tangi

I was browsing through my phtobucket album when I saw this picture. And it came to me-- "gosh, it's been 4 years na pala!".

I was nominated by a friend named Thaan way back in 2003 for the Search-- Gawad F. T. San Luis Namumukod Tanging Kabataan ng Laguna.

It's a 6 month process; leadership training, environment and community involvement, immersion or "pakikipamuhay", at walang katapusang reflection on things in life... Makulay ang buhay GAWAD! I mean, part of my growth as a person I owe to them.

At kaya naman, bigla ko silang namiss!

To my batchmates;

kuya Arjay-- busy mode sa Med School! pero infairness, nagpaparamdam pa din paminsan-minsan sa text. Hehe! wag ka, isa ako sa bikitima nya ng "who's this?" kasi ilang beses ng na-reformat ang cellphone! =)

ate Marj-- GAWAD Global in Houston Texas! Uuwi ka ba this Christmas? I miss you na, sobra! ang mga chikahan galore sa UPLB na ianaabot ng hating gabi... hehe! Mga letters and tears!

Mariah-- my soul sister! Who just got married last month... Walanjo ka, nag-iwan ka na kapatid! Ehehe... Wish you all the best! Be a good wife and a good mom ha?

Jaycz-- ewan ko kung bakit pero feeling ko talaga "loyalista" pa din ako! Wahaha! World peace sis! I love you and I miss you! Pag dumating yung time na lilipad ka na din papuntang states malulungkot ako... Pero GO lang, "para sa mga pangarap natin!" Hahaha! at eto pa "Don't worry I'm a Doctor, I'll take care of you!" Nyahahaha!

kuya Joel-- you still in LB? teaching? haaayyyy.... namimis ko na ang mga photo shoot natin together! mabuhay ang mga naka-manual na SLR! Hindi pa kasi uso nuon ang digital eh noh?

Rael-- kelan mo ba iiwan ang ICT? Nyehehehe... ayaw mo pa kasi sa akin sumama sa Chase! Pero masaya ako pag nakikita kita sa Rob-Galleria! Kahit sandali lang dahil lunch break mo yun!

Timo-- ikaw pa din ang wolverin ng buhay ko! Hmp, broken hearted at bitter ka nga lang... ramdam ko! You owe me your story! Hahaha!

Alyn-- sis, minsan naiisip ko na lang kinakausap mo ang sarili mo sa mga fwd text mo... Ehehe! pero okay lang yan! It's a process tlaga.

Gerjane-- my baby george! Graduate ka na ba? I hope and pray for your success! Miss na kita... I feel like you are so out of reach kahit minsan nakikita kita na naka-online sa ym. Hmmm...

ate Jewel-- congrats! I like you're baby! Mukhang korean na din! hehe! I am so happy that you're doing great there with kuya Chris! Kelan kayo uuwi dito? Paramdam ka lang ha?!

kuya Wilyam-- the best clown ever! Hindi ko na alam ang number mo! Anu na ba tlga? hehe...

kuya Rasty-- pampampam pa rin! Pero gayun pa man, subalit, datapwat... Mahal pa din kita! Yiaks!

And the rest of G-Force '03-- ano na? Ang tagal-tagal na nung planong re-union never naman natuloy... Hmp! hehe! Basta miss ko na kayo lahat! Miss ko na ang Laguna... Ang mga moments and all!

To my mentors in GAWAD;

ate Macris-- kamusta ang buhay coke? I'm praising God that you've managed to read His Word despite your schedule. At sorry talaga kung hindi ako maka-commit sa Screening Committee ha? Pero sana paglabas mo sa "bahay ni kuya" gimik uli tayo! tapos sleepl over ka nalng ulet sa akin! Mahal kita ate! Nabasa ko yung message mo sa akin nung December 12, 2004 (sana tama yung date ko! basta ganun petsa!) Yung memory nung Christmas Carol... hehe! naiyak ako ha!

ate Thaan-- teka, mas bata ka sa akin di ba? Hehe, eh kung hindi naman sa'yo wala ako sa GAWAD eh! Kelan kaya ulet kita makakasalubong sa CR ng Mcdo? Magkapit bahay din naman tayo sa Boni eh. Hope you're okay...

kuya Teruch-- kamusta na ang "orange" na iniaalok ni God sa'yo? Remeber that God will only give you "good dillema". At hindi pa natutuloy ang dinner date natin! Sino ba ang mauunang taya? Text-text.

kuya Henry-- pag pissed off ako, nalulungkot at naiiyak... Tatawagan pa din kita! Hehe, mga 3 mins lang... Hindi na tayo nagkikita, magkapit-bahay lang naman tayo sa Makati ah...

ate Laiden-- na kung hindi dahil sa GAWAD hindi kita makikilala at hindi ko din ma-e-experience ang fulfillment natin sa YAFE (queber kung tribute for Gawad 'to!). Hehe! Mga "nyum-nyum-nyum" moments, kilig moments galore at wala katapusang telebabad na maiikli na ang isa't kalahating oras. Hahaha! Kamusta po kay kuya Mark.

Joyvin-- mentor ba kita? Ehehe, oo mentor sa kakupalan! Hahaha, wala kang kupas at mahal kita... I'm so glad na nakita ko din yung growth mo. Kakatuwa ang huli nating serious kwentuhan (kahit nung June pa yun). Sana maulit muli ang movie trip, basta GAWAD kasama ko kahit baduy yung movie GO lang! Hehe... You still owe me the Joshua Harris book na hiniram mo kapatid!

kuya Jhun-- of course I consider you a "mentor"... I was browsing through the old post sa e-groups when I read a message I sent and may message ako for you. I know I have told you this, pero thank you! I may not be sure how will you react but my Dad and I are okay now... I remeber kasi ikaw ang iniiyakan ko nuon over him. Basta ayun na!

At sa iba ko pang ka-GAWAD... haaayyyy.... Nakakamiss po! Sana naman kahit once a week lang may makita ako sa inyo-- sa bus, sa mall, sa CR ng Mcdo, sa jeep... yung biglaan ba! Para surprise effect! Wala lang...


KAMI ANG MGA NAMUMUKOD TANGING KABATAAN NG LAGUNA!

LOSING OUR MOBILE PHONE IS PART OF OUR LIVES!

(I browsed through our e-groups' sa GAWAD F. T. Sanluis para hanapin 'tong post ko na 'to... nakakatuwa yung mga nabasa ko pang old posts from year 2003 up to present... hehe! at ayun n nga, pinost ko lang 'to dito kasi WALA po akong telepono! hndi naman sya nawala... nasa Samsung Service Center lang at pinapagawa ko! hehe! one of the valuable lesson learned 'to ng buhay ko! I posted this March 3,2007)

"-- as quoted by my gwapong supervisor...

I JUST LOST MY PHONE! yesterday morning on my way back home, it must have fell pagkababa ko ng bus sa boni...

masaklap pla tlga yung feeling!

this is actualy the first time na nawalan ako ng cellphone... nakakapanghinayang pero ayun nga tpos na eh!

i just feel weird kasi i don't feel so so bad & mad about it! & i don't know why... i guess i felt somewhat released & freed from something i have been too attached with... lately kasi i've been so stressed out over work (alam ng wave 20 yan! hehe! lhat kmi eh!) na tipong para ata winish ko na sana hndi muna ako maabala ng mga text messages at hndi muna ako makapang-abala sa pagfo-forward ko sa mga tao sa phone book ko, na hndi ko mapigilang gawin almost everyday nung nsa akin pa ang cellphone ko... kaya ayun, cguro nga sbi ni Lord "ok my dear, wish granted "...

magaan din yung feeling ko kasi i did my part. i went to samsung main office in greenhills to report what happened then from there they instructed me to go to NTC in diliman... partida na wala pa akong tulog from work! tpos naka-uwi nko ng mandaluyong 4pm na at pumasok ako ng 830pm, as our shif starts at 9pm. c'mon diba?! kmusta nman ang ka-ngaragan ko nun? hehe..

nweys, wla lang... gusto ko lng i-share yung ngyari para mejo mas gumaan pa ang pkiradam ko...

FAVOR LANG PO pls email or send me a msge in frendster kung ano po ang cellphone number nyo... unfortunately wla akong kopya ng lhat nga mga nsa phonebook ko! hndi ko din sure kung kaya ko pang mag-cellphone uli, i mean hndi ko alam kung kelan ako makaka-get over sa pagkawala nya (shet parang broken hearted lng! haha!) pero bahala na...

at sa mga suki kong pinapadalhan ng mga quotes... YOU WILL SURELY MISS ME! hardeharhar!

love you guys...

ps. salamat sa CHF wave 20! na mas nanghinayang pa sila at mga nag-alala sa pagkakawala ng cellphone ko... wla na daw magpapatugtog ng "to the left, to the left..." at "oo oohh, di mo lng alam ako'y 'yong nasakatan..."
haaayyyyy... at si mike na pinagalitan ako dhil sa nangyari! hehe...

un lng po! mwuahugs!


-rajsh"

Eto yung lesson learned behind it, I was too attached to that Samsung d900 phone na tlgang kinuha sya sa akin ni God... Nakakahiya mang i-admit pero totoo pala yung "where your heart is, where your treasure is"... at hindi maganda na sobrang trineasure ko ang telepono ko. Whew! I took my a while to really learn the lesson why God allowed it to hapopen... at kung sakali man na makawala pa ulet ako ng telepono... Hmmm! yun na...

Answered Cry

This is merely a hang over from the answered cry and answered prayer...

I sent ate Leah Darwin an email about someone I have been praying for. Haha! nakakatawa at nakakatuwa how God answered my cry in less than 24hrs. Bukod kay Mich, at kay Mama, si ate Leah yung pinaka-matinding sagot (that God used) sa panalangin ko the night before... I was being impatient kasi eh, ayun sabi sa akin ni God "Just wait!"

I can't post the email I sent (kahit parang natutukso akong i-post) kasi it would just put me on the spot at baka hndi ko kayanin... Hahaha! kaya eto na lang!

Her (ate Leah) reply to my email and a poem she also sent me...

"Dear Rajsh,

What a beautiful story declaring the intimacy Jesus and His Spirit have with you!!! Our Father knows your heart so deeply and sees the deepest longings and yearnings there - He will only give you the best gift from His own heart! That's why it is the best wisest choice to wait upon Him - but while waiting, enjoy being a woman - so pretty, so delightful, so worthy of pursuit! Our Lord pursues us so well I pray you will feel His pursuit of you. I will send you a copy of the poem of Ruth Bell Graham - wife of Billy Graham - she wrote this when she was a single missionary woman waiting for her Groom to be. She didn't know it was Billy yet. This poem became my prayer as I waited for my David....Maybe I should have shared it with all of you at the retreat...but actually - you will find it on the front pages of my book!

Have fun relishing the goodness of God and enjoy His surprises!

Love in Jesus,
Ate Leah"



Ruth Bell Graham’s Poem

“Dear God,” I prayed, all unafraid (as girls won’t be)
“I do not want a handsome man
but let him be like Thee
I don’t need one big and strong, nor one so very tall,
Nor need he be so genius, or wealthy, Lord, at all.

But let his head be high, dear God,
and let his eyes be clear
His shoulders straight, whatever his state,
Whatever his earthly sphere.
And let his face have character, a ruggedness of soul,
And let his whole life show, dear God,
A singleness of goal.

And when he comes, as he will come,
With quiet eyes aglow,
I’ll understand that he’s the man
I prayed for long ago.

In His wonderful Name Jesus Christ, Amen.”

I hate him...

There's just too many things I wanted to write about, why in the world at eto pa? Heck, I don't know...

I just arrived at work when I opened my lotus notes and BOOM! Eto ang bumungad sa akin:

"Its been more than a pleasure working with you guys, wish me luck on my never ending search for the meaning of life!
I wish you all the best things in life as well. Adios! God Bless!"

sent: 11/06/2007 09:50 PM

I was like, "Whaaatttt???? True pala tlga yon? Akala ko joke lang... Huhuhu!" I hate him... I hate goodbyes...

Hindi ka man lang nagpaalam ng personal? You didn't even kiss me goodbye?! I hate you Jei... hmp! Pag nakita kita pakalat-kalat humanda ka tlga sa akin! You still owe me a breakfast date dude! Hahaha... Yun pala ang habol ko??

Anyways, sige na nga, It's been also a pleasure working with you. I had fun exchanging emails with you. You never knew it but you made me smile. Thank you for the simple things you did for me, especially when I asked you to come to 12th floor (even if your station is at the 31st floor) because I was crying and I needed a friend, someone I can make sumbong to and someone that could give me a hug. Salamat talaga ng marami kapatid! Thank you din sa pakikinig when I was spiritually high, na kahit na you rejected what I was talking about, you were still patient enough to hear it, kahit na napikon na ako syo. Hehe. You are in my prayers, you have always been (since that spiritual high emails). Hah! Kala mo ha..

So paano? See you when I see you... Maliit ang mundo! Ciao!