Sunday, April 3, 2011

1st quarter reflections

Indeed how time flies! The first quarter of the year passed by already and I realize I haven't been able to blog that much...

Ano na nga ba ang mga nangyari? Same-same (ganun pa rin nman [ata]) hehe.

January- this was the month where I saw how the Lord started answering my year-end prayer-- for Him to increase more and more in my life and for me to decrease-- because that is His desire for me as His child, to be more like Him.  But it was a challenging start of the new year as I also saw how I failed Him a lot of times.  I asked for forgiveness for the same mistake that I've committed and He still remained to be faithful and true to His word.  I really felt His love.

I also continued my study of the book of Leviticus and Hebrews during this month. I sure learned a lot.

I also learned during this month that God answered my year-end prayer by (note: this is not the ONLY thing but this is just one of the many things He did to make me realize He was answering my prayer) allowing me to see how sinful I am and how I am in need of Him.  In our Bible study/growth group we are going through a series study on the Sermon on the Mount and the Lord's been helping me to apply what we have learned most especially (during this month) about what it really means to thirst and hunger for His righteousness in order to deal with my sinfulness...

I noticed in my journal that I always prayed "Lord, continue to guard my heart..."

This was one of the busiest month in the office, our volume was increasing I think every day due to tax filing in the U.S. We were asked to render overtime and rest day over time as well. Stressful month.

Before this month ended, I together with my sister Raya, my fiancĂ© John, my dear friend Mich and our Kuya Ronald went to Baguio.  My first out of town for this year. (gulp, di ko pa pala na-u-update yung post ko about it. tsk tsk).  It was in Baguio where John bought the engagement ring he promised me. Yihee!

Over-all, I think for the first month of the year, God allowed me to experience a number of tests in regards to my obedience and faithfulness to Him and it still is going on...

February- I realized I am so selfish and that I always take God for granted. Sad but that's the truth.  The Lord remained gracious though (Thank You!).  I saw in my journal the many times I asked Him to teach me to continuously mourn over my sin and to enable me to be meek before Him.

I finished my Hebrews personal Bible study during this month.

This was also the month where I talked to my youngest brother about ending my financial support for his studies.  I realized that I wasn't helping him anymore, he wasn't doing what he should do and the help he received did not seem to inspire him to do his best in his studies. Sad but again, that's reality. During our talk I told him that it was time for me to save naman for my future. I pray he understood. After the talk, I told God that it was a wonderful privilege for me to support my brother for more than 3 years and I'm praying he will have the initiative and stand up on his own.

At work, this was the month that the Lord made me realize how complacent and lazy and comfortable I am. And he took me out of that comfort zone.  He let me experience being eaten up with the stress at work to the point that I approached my Sup and told him "ayoko na." OA and sad, but that's the truth.  I learned the hard way.  Thank God that His grace remained ever sufficient.  No, I didn't quit my job, that was just out of uncontrolled emotional stress.  The Lord placed and gave me this job for a reason and for His purpose and I took Him for granted again. Yet again, He remained faithful to me and enabled me to meet my goal in the number of work done. Though my quality score failed, at least the productivity was met.

The Lord taught me to practice forgiving the people who've caused a deep pain in my heart through the words/text message of my sister Raya.  She said: "Kalma lang...wag na lang naten pakitaan ng hindi maganda. Sabi mo nga si Lord na ang bahala, araw-araw natin pag-praktisan kung paano magpatawad sa kanila hanggang sa ma-master natin yun.  Our response is our responsibility.  Mahirap but we have to give/show them love and honor that they deserve." Wow! Very powerful and wake-up call words. I still have it in my inbox. Praise God for my sister!

God reminded me [again] to keep looking to Him!

The Lord placed in my heart to remain faithful, keep watch, be a good steward, expect and be prepared as He is coming very soon!

March- I started the month with my journal with the lyrics from a song-- Remember when we walk, sometimes we fall... so fall on Jesus...

I finished my Leviticus personal Bible study the third day of this month.

I learned (through our study in the growth group of Matthew 5:13-16) that I have allowed myself to be contaminated by the world and that was the reason why I wasn't being the salt that I ought to be and so I asked the Lord that He continue to sanctify me through and through and I renewed my commitment to Him.  Once again, I asked Him to change my heart constantly.

The Lord used me to minister to one of our Sister in the faith.  It was a wonderful time of fellowship and accountability.

After praying for about a week or so, the Lord lead me to the book of Samuel for my Old Testament personal Bible study.  I'm reading it along with the book of Matthew (for my New Testament personal Bible study.) Yehey!

I failed at work again. But the Lord picked me up by His grace again.

For the first time in my history of being with our department, I joined an out of town team building trip in Caliraya (Laguna).  My Sup and team mates were very happy that I joined, I myself was touched and enjoyed our time together.  Oh, and yeah kamusta naman ang picture namin nun? Hindi ko pa rin na-u-upload! Hahaha! Tsk, anu ba yan Rajsh! :-P

During this month, the Lord made it very clear to me that the problem is really in my heart-- it is where sin gives birth and when I allowed my heart to take over sablay talaga. So I studied about it more (of course through God's Word) in order to deal with it accordingly.  Here's few passages about the heart of man:
"every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood."-Genesis 8:21
Psalm 14:1, Proverbs 27:19, "The hearts of people, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live..." -Ecclesiastes 9:3 and of course Jeremiah 17:9.  I'll be using what I learned for our growth group session next week as we will discuss Matthew 5:21-26.

As I face another quarter of the year, what do I do? I keep my focus to God for He is sovereign!

Thank You, dear Lord for the things that You taught me and for the things that You are teaching me... Thank You... I really couldn't imagine my life without You...   

Now I'm  glad I was able to write something...  Errr...Lots of things pala! Hehe!

Just one last hirit:
One highlight for this month is that I'm about to finish reading my first Ravi Zacharias book entitled Walking from East to West: God In The Shadows.  Bought and started reading it last December 2010. 

No comments: