Had a bad day

It was a bad day today at work.  And I hate myself.

Why does it always have to happen when I'm having a post-menstrual-syndrome?  I got a failed QA at work and had a coaching session with my team lead and it was bad.  I cried out of annoyance.  And then later I regret that I reacted that way.

Yup, this is me. This is the rajshbratinella in me that I'm struggling dealing with.  I am praying and really looking forward to that day that I'll be a better me, that I can truly say I am more Christ-like.

I want to quit work.  Oh if only I could, I really would.

Oh yeah, it was a bad day! I'll stop na. Just want to let it out a bit.

Sigh.  

#TiisPaMore

And so I came home form work today very tired, not because of heavy work load but because of heavy traffic na inabot ng more than an hour from Estrella-EDSA to our apartment here in Mandaluyong. Sa sobrang kapaguran, I found myself crying habang namamalansta ng damit ni John. I couldn't help but cry kasi how I really wish I could have the time freedom that I've been longing for for the past few months.

Yung tipong hindi ko na kailangang magmadali kapag dating ko from work kasi I need to prepare our dinner, John's things for office and then I would struggle to sleep early because I have work the following day pa. Yung tipong I can sleep ng mga minimum 10hrs everyday since ang laki-laki ng utang kong pahinga sa sarili ko. Yung tipong John and I would have more time together, specially in our quiet time as a couple, more bonding and all. Yung tipong I am just managing a businss wherein hawak ko yung oras ko. Yung tipong dahil well rested ako, I'll have more energy for the ministry that I'm involved with. Yung ganun.  I guess I can say, yun ang pina-pangarap ko ngayon. TIME FREEDOM.

Pero hindi pa pwede sa ngayon. And even though it's a sad reality, I know I have to persevere. I have to continue trusting on the Lord for His plans for our life.

I'm thinking it's my PMS week, kaya siguro nag-e-emo na naman ako.

Oh well, I know I'll get through this by God's unlimited grace. Kaya for now tiis-tiis pa more! 

crying out loud

Just thinking and crying out loud:

Sana dumating din yung araw na pag may problema tayo harapin natin at wag nating takasan. At wag na tayong magpalusot at mag-justify but rather admit our mistake(s), repent, forgive, ask forgiveness, move one and heal...

Tama na. Sobra na. Nakakasawa na. Napakasakit na...

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." -1 John 1:8-10

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me..." -John 17:20-23

+ Pray with me and for me. Thank you. +

.sigh.

My status message for today:

For the things that matter... God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever!

I hate the day today.
If not for His grace, I would have just locked myself in my silent sanctuary.

Thank You, for praying for me always... Thank You, for Your grace, thank You, for Your love...

HÜG me Lord, please. ☺

cry baby mowd

Ayun, so naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko at sa mga kapalpakan ko.

It's that time of the year again... and I soooo hate it!!!

(bakit kasi ganito ang initial reaction ko sa mga multiple failed audits...? Though I admit that this is one area that God is dealing me with. See this related post from last year.)

But then again, I know I need to apply this...

 ²My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

 ³Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

 ⁴But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. (James 1:2-4, King James Version)

and this...

 ²⁰For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (James 1:20, King James Version)

So much of our GG's "Walk The Talk" series... Advance lesson and first hand ang application ko...

So help me God!

(Ayun, gusto ko lang ilabas sama ng loob ko...)