Just some random cry of my heart that I want to let out.
So my sister-in-law (actually it's my husband's sister-in-law) gave birth to her second child yesterday. Praise and thank God for the safe delivery and no complications! I think they will be discharged any time soon.
A few moments ago, my brother-in-law shared the photo of his new born baby in our family GC and syempre may kurot in my heart and this thought came to my mind: "That's something that I might not have." and then tears just fell.
It's not that I'm barren or something is wrong with my husband's capacity to give me a child, but it's more of this is something that I'm scared to have and I don't want to have because nga I'm scared. But why am I crying over it? I don't know. I'm sad and scared when I think that I won't get pregnant. I'm scared of carrying one, I'm sacred of raising one. I sincerely feel that I'm not worthy being a mother/parent. And yeah, that makes me cry too.
Again, just letting it out here! :)
So my sister-in-law (actually it's my husband's sister-in-law) gave birth to her second child yesterday. Praise and thank God for the safe delivery and no complications! I think they will be discharged any time soon.
A few moments ago, my brother-in-law shared the photo of his new born baby in our family GC and syempre may kurot in my heart and this thought came to my mind: "That's something that I might not have." and then tears just fell.
It's not that I'm barren or something is wrong with my husband's capacity to give me a child, but it's more of this is something that I'm scared to have and I don't want to have because nga I'm scared. But why am I crying over it? I don't know. I'm sad and scared when I think that I won't get pregnant. I'm scared of carrying one, I'm sacred of raising one. I sincerely feel that I'm not worthy being a mother/parent. And yeah, that makes me cry too.
Again, just letting it out here! :)
