On waiting and trusting Him

A growth group member shared in our viber group chat a concern she has at work. I said I'll pray for her and reminded her of our lesson last Saturday in Romans 8:28 where it said that in good times or bad, all things are working together for the good-- being made in Christ-likeness, being changed from glory to glory-- of those called to salvation by God, those people who love Him. And while I type those words, I am also speaking to myself. 

I am struggling with the fact that I have to endure being on a 10 am to 7 pm schedule at work. That is the worst schedule that the management could give me because it will basically compromise our (John and I) time together since he works at night. By the time I arrive home, he needs to leave na.  By the time he arrives home in the morning, I need to leave na otherwise I'll be late because of the traffic. And so because of all these factors, I struggle and find myself feeling like I want to resign na talaga, as in if only I could, I'd submit an immediate resignation. BUT it's also clear, given our current financial situation that I cannot afford to quit working as of yet. 

So for now, I am praying that God will allow me to see things in His perspective. Just as His word said, it is certain that this change of schedule did not go about without His approval or just by chance, kasi sabi sa word Nya "all things work together for good" so this is not an exception. I have to accept that every moment as I trust in Him and wait upon His perfect timing when will I be able to leave my job. I have to trust Him because He knows what He is doing with my life. 

Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
-Psalm 27:14

Physically Tired

I feel so tired and I feel like I owe a debt to myself in terms of quality rest. L

I realized for this month, I’ve been actively involved in the ministry, and I mean more active than the usual… which I enjoyed and I’m grateful to God for, for the opportunities given to me serving Him and His people! From the youth camp on April 30 to May 3, then Connect Agents’ Day on May 16 and then Connect Leaders’ Retreat last weekend, May23-24. Hataw na hataw lang ang peg ko. Hehe. I love it! But I think because of my age (yuck ang tanda ko na!) and because of having to deal with vertigo, I feel very, very tired!

To the point that, I feel like sleeping longer and not go to work. Hahaha! J Pero hindi pwede, dahil sa vertigo ko na umubos ng leaves ko first quarter pa lang ng taon na ito, I cannot afford to file leaves kundi ma-sa-sacrifice ko mga ganap ko sa mga susunod na buwan.

Haaay… What to do?

Lord, allow me to rest in You and kahit na struggle din ang pag enjoy ko sa quiet time ko everyday this week, I pray that You’ll still open my heart and mind to Your word and enable me to obey You wholeheartedly. And sana Lord wala kami pasok on June 12, para maka-rest ako… J

Humbling me

God is humbling me. 

Someone is mad at me because (I think but I am not sure if it is the reason) the person doesn't agree with how I go about in leading our growth group and because of things I have said that was offensive in one way or another to the person. The humbling part about this is that the attitude of the person actually reminds me of my own attitude when I feel the same (mad / angry / irritated) towards someone. 

So God is now teaching me to respond in love, in patience, grace, compassion and in meekness. And it is not easy, specially the meekness part as I was told (by the person) of things I never thought I would hear from the person. 

I am hurting, yes, that's given. But I do not disregard the fact that this is nothing that is out of the control and sovereignty of God, so I will do as it pleases Him. It is hard but I know that it is possible by His grace.

I know sooner or later we will be okay again in His time and according to His will. I know that He wants harmony among His children. So I leave it up to Him and pray, and trust that He is working everything for our good because we belong to Him and we are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). 

"May Your will be done, Father... That in all these, Your name alone be glorified. Amen."