Denying Jesus?

Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept.
-Mark 14:72

The last sentence of this verse struck me because I can relate very well.

Many times I "deny" Jesus-- I sin, I fall, I make no regard and no reverence of His presence and just go on giving in to what I want even if I know at the back of my mind that it will dishonor Him...

Yet He remains faithful!  Through the Holy Spirit He brings me back to my senses and gets me on my knees to repent and ask for forgiveness...

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
-1 John 1:9

And He picks me up in His grace... that for me is just OVERWHELMING!

Lord, Your love is amazing!

something happened

In relation to my entry: Contemplating (Part II)

Jan 22 @ 5:32am, I texted this to John:
"Naiyak ako kanina love... Sobrang inis ko... sarap nya sapakin eh. Nakakabwisit humirit. Pero mabait tlga si Lord kasi He kept me still at di ako pumatol at sumagot pabalang... Pero after tlga naiyak ako. Para akong bata na nagsusumbing kay Lord.. He is dealing with my attitude. Masakit pero, oks lang."

And then we saw each other past 6am... I told him my story, before we parted ways, I asked him-- "Wala kang masasabi?" He just asked me these-- "Bakit kailangang sabihin mo sa kanya yun? Na kaya tuloy nasabihan ka ng ---? "

I stopped, and thought about what really is inside my heart... Na ang nasabi ko na lang kay John ay-- "Oo nga noh? Parang ang yabang ko pala nun at may pride pa rin ako... "

Pagkadating ko sa bahay, ganito na yung text ko kay John @ 7:04am:

"I'm home na love. Thank you, I feel better now... InExpose na naman ni God kung ano tlga ang nasa heart ko at tunay nga na He wants me to change... Mas malinaw ngayon sa akin. =)"

Then I went to my 'silent sanctuary' and spent quality time with the Lord, around 8:05am.



This was my prayer then:

"Thank You-- all things work for the good for those who belong to You! Thank You for C, for L, and for John--whom You used to comfort me and expose what really is in my heart.

Lord, mali po ako--ang yabang ko nga po at masyado akong nagmataas at ayun nga, sinasabi ko sa sarili ko that Your are good and still sovereign but my attitude tells (You and me) otherwise. Forgive me Lord, for disregarding your sovereignty in my life once again... Forgive me 'cause i failed to apply what I told A (my disciple) to do... =(

But then again... Thank You for being so faithful na kahit paano sumunod ako sa Inyo, na kahit paano naging conscious ako sa paligid. Thank You Lord, kasi Ikaw po ang may gawa kung bakit hindi ako sumagot pabalang at hindi Nyo po hinayaang masira ko na naman ang testimony ko... And again, thank You, Lord Jesus for correcting my attitude, for dealing with me real hard. Thank You, Lord!

'Attitude do not just happen; we choose them.' -Blackaby

'Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...' -Philippians 2:5

I pray Lord na patuloy Nyo pong i-reveal sa akin ang sarili ko... At patuloy Nyo po akong baguhin... Thank You for Your patience Father! Hindi pa po talaga kayo tapos sa akin.

As for the person Lord, please do not let me give up on her. She is still my friend and I want her to know You. Sana Lord gamitin Nyo pa rin ako to minister to her. I hope Lord I would see her and look at her according sa perspective Nyo. Sana po Lord, makabawi ako at maipadama ko sa kanya na love ko sya. Sana Lord, makita ka pa rin nya sa akin, sa buhay ko. Thank You Lord, for using her as a tool in correcting and molding me... Bless her Lord and I really pray she would come to know You.

Thank You po uli... Prepare me now Father as I read and study Your Word... Open the eyes of my heart so that I will see You...

In Jesus' name, I pray, amen. =) "

The Lord lead me to read John 17:25-26

"O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me. 26 And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them."

And then, hindi pa don natatapos ang message sa akin ng Panginoon kasi meron din Syang sinabi through Blackaby (I'm using Experiencing God Devotionals kasi):

-You cannot walk close to God without being affected by His love.
-You will be incapable of ministering to everyone God sends you unless you have His love. You cannot forgive others or go the extra mile with others or sacrifice for others unless you have first been filled with the boundless love of God.
-Seek to know the Father and His immeasurable love; then allow His Son to love others through you!

Napatulala ako ata nasabi kokay Lord: "You are so in control! Sakto ito Lord ah! Galing... Nakakatuwa po... "

That moment, I ended up praying again... This was my finale, from Psalm 119:
"124 Deal with your servant according to your love
and teach me your decrees.

125 I am your servant; give me discernment
that I may understand your statutes.

135 Make your face shine upon your servant
and teach me your decrees."

Praise His name, forever and ever! ;-)


(ps. this is the first time I published the whole content of my personal reflection and journal. wala lang. wahehe.)

Status: Contemplating

I've been singing this song for almost two weeks now... I listen to it every night while I'm on my way to work and when I travel back home...

"I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

I will worship (I will worship)
With all of my heart (With all of my heart)
I will praise you (I will praise you)
With all of my strength (With all my strength)
I will seek you (I will seek you)
All of my days (All of my days)
I will follow (I will follow)
Follow all of your ways (All your ways)

I will give you all my worship
I will give you all my praise
You alone I long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

I will bow down (I will bow down)
Hail you as king (Hail you as king)
I will serve you (I will serve you)
I'll give you everything (I'll give you everything)
I will lift up (I will lift up)
My eyes to your throne (My eyes to your throne)
I will trust you (I will trust you)
I will trust you alone (Trust you alone)"

...and then last Monday night, nasa jeep ako when I pondered on "Lord, what does it really mean to give You ALL my worship?" Sa thought lang na yun ako nag-dwell during my short travel from my house (Mandaluyong) to my workplace (the Fort, Taguig).

When I went home, Tuesday morning... I found myself telling this to God (in my journal):

"I've been thinking since last night kung ano po ba talaga yung 'all my worship' at kung naibibigay ko ito sa Inyo... and the answer is 'no'... Many times I fail to follow You, many times I disappoint You, many times I go ahead of You, many times I displease You and disobey You... At maraami pang pagkukulang at pagkakamali...

Forgive me Lord for those times..."

What does it mean to give Him all my worship then-- OBEDIENCE. Having the RIGHT HEART before Him... Living the Christ-like life MOMENT BY MOMENT... At marami pang iba na patuloy na ipinapakita sa akin ng Panginoon...

And then He lead me to this:

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word." -Psalm 119:9

So the journey goes on... He is dealing with me, that's for sure! ;-)

Prasie His name, His love endures forever...

Rebuked

Jonah 4 (New American Standard Bible)

Jonah's Displeasure Rebuked

1But it greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry.
2He prayed to the LORD and said, "Please LORD, was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity.

3"Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for death is better to me than life."

4The LORD said, "Do you have good reason to be angry?"

5Then Jonah went out from the city and sat east of it. There he made a shelter for himself and sat under it in the shade until he could see what would happen in the city.

6So the LORD God appointed a plant and it grew up over Jonah to be a shade over his head to deliver him from his discomfort. And Jonah was extremely happy about the plant.

7But God appointed a worm when dawn came the next day and it attacked the plant and it withered.

8When the sun came up God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on Jonah's head so that he became faint and begged with all his soul to die, saying, "Death is better to me than life."



9Then God said to Jonah, "Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant?" And he said, "I have good reason to be angry, even to death."

10Then the LORD said, "You had compassion on the plant for which you did not work and which you did not cause to grow, which came up overnight and perished overnight.

11"Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals?"

An encouragement

Just want to share this... An encouragement for the family of believers... For all the faithful servants of the Lord...

I shared this with the volunteers and leaders of Connect during our Prayer Meeting (August 9, 2009).

DEVOTION: 1 Corinthians 15:58

“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.”

I’m sure we all experience being discouraged; when we feel we are not appreciated, when we feel we are unimportant and when we feel that what we do is insignificant. I’m sure we all experience being disappointed when people fail to recognize our work, our efforts, sacrifices, and all that.

Question: Why do you think we feel that way?
Answer: Because we want to hear something good about ourselves (or a feedback), we want to be affirmed that we're doing a great job, etc...

Kahit ano pa ang maisip natin na reason, it is clear in our passage na dapat steady lang tayo- stand firm at walang anuman o sinuman ang may karapatan na i-distract tayo sa ating work- Let nothing move you.

Bakit kaya sinabi ni Paul yon?

I think, alam kasi nya na natural sa tao ang tumingin sa tao at ma-disappoint. He knows that we will be disappointed when we focus on people instead of God.

As we read in our passage- Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord. Ano po ba yung “work of the Lord”? I hope we are not thinking exclusively that the “work for the Lord” ay ministry lang.

See the following passages:
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -Colossians 3:17

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." -Colossians 3:23-24


"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

We read that hindi lang ang pag-serve sa church/ministry ang “work for/of the Lord” kasama rin dun yung: work natin (office), mga gawin sa bahay, and also yung service natin for other people (relationships).

Let's say sa office- If your boss, immediate supervisor or even your colleague fail to notice a job well done, or probably your employer is mistreating you, go lang! So long as you are doing things right, continue doing so because the Lord is pleased! Work as if working for the Lord. I can still remember yung sinabi ni Rick Warren sa PDL- Work becomes worship when we dedicate it to God and perform it with an awareness of His presence.
Sa bahay- if your parent, kapatid, or board mate fail to appreciate you (or let’s say fail to voice out their appreciation to you) and all you do, go lang! Do it as if you are doing it for the Lord.
Sa ibang tao (relationship with ministry partners, friends, loved one, etc)- when they fail to say “thank you” or “I am blessed by you” or “I love you”, when they fail to make you feel important or when they fail to notice what you do (may it be something big or small), go lang! Continue serving them as if you are serving God. And again, yung application ng consider others better than yourself - do not be selfish and self-centered preaching ni Pstr BJ Yu.

When we do that, yung we are always, as in all the time aware and consumed by His presence- nothing could go wrong as we will be walking humbly and in accordance with His will and grace. We will sin less, we will have peace and enjoy the comfort being very close to Him. When that happens, people will see the difference in us, being a child of God, they will probably be curious about the power working in us. Tapos God will be pleased; He will be honored and glorified with our lives and with what we do. And like what Pstr Jojo Lacanilao always say- When God is pleased/glorified, things happen!

As what Paul said--
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." -Galatians 6:9-10

Same with what our passage tells us today- because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain, we have the assurance that what we do here on earth does not (and will not, ever) go unnoticed by God and at the proper time He will reward us!

If we truly believe that Christ has won ultimate victory (at the Cross) that must affect the way we live right now...


Let us not be discouraged over an apparent lack of results or positve feedbacks that we will stop doing what we do (as a group/ministry or as individuals).

Do good that we have the opportunity to do, knowing that our work will have eternal results.